when i was small-er

Have u ever experienced this: loving someone so much and u try so hard to tell them that u love them, but u just can’t say it out?

I’m experiencing it rite now…

I love my grandparents so much!!! But I just dunno how to say it out. Tak kan I say “ngo ngoi lei” (I love u in Cantonese) rite…? Its gonna turn out so wrong…

I was taken care of by both my grandparents when I was born. Mom and Dad had to work. Mom only stopped work when charmaine came along, but then she was bz caring for her, so I still stuck to my grand dudes. Popo used to be the bad guy… I mean woman… in my childhood days. She’d put me on the potty as punishment (she calls it ‘dun’) for doing something wrong, and I’ll cry until my granddad comes to sayang me. I call him datuk, and I still do. We (his grandkids) couldn’t pronounce goong goong last time, so we gave him this glamorous title. My other cousins from my mom’s side were taken care of by their parents, so I was the only grand kid that datuk can spoil =p

Those days weren’t very sweet for a growing child who had minimal parental love (maybe I did have a lot of it but I didn’t feel it). The TV was my best friend. Sesame Street thought me English. I drew Barney on the wall and got sent to my potty again. I played with the kids upstairs and I made them get scolded by their huge mom. I used to pick up saga seeds down at the lawn and played masak-masak with it. I used to eat Milo powder cuz I was too lazy to fix myself a Milo drink. We balanced on yellow poles to see who stays on longest. I lost everytime cuz my feet were small… until datuk comes to help me cheat.

I grew up in this flat unit since I was a baby till end of primary school. Popo and datuk thought me billions of things: never to be late, never to lie, not to sit too near to the tv, to respect the elderly, smoking is bad (datuk let me take a puff to prove it sucks), to be nice to my friends, how to boil rice, to pick up after my own mess, etc.

I would run for cover when popo comes home from her daily mah jong game. A monster appears if she lost. She changed a lot after she accepted Christ. And I’m so happy for her. Datuk remains the same b4 and after baptism. He continues to be very loving but still smokes a lot. Guess he can’t stop it d… I breathed in smoke like breathing in normal air. That’s how I got my asthma issue. Anyhow, I still love them both.

Mid of last year, I got a call from home. Popo was admitted to the hospital cuz she had stroke. I almost fainted. It was such a nasty feeling… knowing that ur loved one is not well and u cant do anything about it cuz u’re so far away. I was so worried I couldn’t sleep one nite.

So now that I’m back, and popo is slowly recovering, I’m spending my time with them as I reminisce on my childhood days, when popo would boil my favorite ginseng chicken soup when I was suspected with dengue. And when I was in college, she would boil black pepper pig’s stomach soup when I come back from nilai (that’s not my fav but she thought it was, so I jz drank it).

Datuk used to have this mini bengkel at the corner of the balcony where he kept all his tools. He’s the handy man in the family. He fixed countless machines, made me cool stuff with wood and he even can do girlie stuff like sew “5 stones” for me. Datuk used to drive me to kindergarten in his Austin and I’d be so embarrassed getting down from his old junk. Now I think it’s a family treasure.

I love my grandparents, and it’s so obvious they love me as well. They didn’t have to tell me that, but I just know it. So I guess I wont hv to tell them after all =)

popo's morning tai chi session. i tried waking up at 6 to go out with her that morning but failed... i ended up going out with datuk and jz took some pix, hahha...

i've not gone to this market for 10-ish years d!!! ntg much changed. roti bakar and milo still rox!

the front bike porch where old men would sit there in the evening playing chess and would swear out loud in hokkien and cantonese. last time when there were less bikes, i'd play with my friends where we'd walk on those greyish metal things from each pink brick-seat to another. not easy...

HAND (have a nice day)

My day today was …nice. Sometimes I dislike the word nice cuz it makes u guess how nice is nice? “Have a nice day” … what do u mean? Go dance in the rain and get hit by a car then the driver sends u to the hospital and turns out that the driver is a good looking hunk who just broke up with his gf? Or to stay home relax and unwind, avoiding all the crazy stuff outside? What’s [nice]? Well, today… my day was really nice. My cousin Theresa came over to pick me up at 9am, all the way to TAR college. I went jz for fun. She went there for lecture. She hustled around her exam slips and I sat there on the bench for 2 hours, sleeping most of the time (for goodness sake… cant that college change the whole bench idea and use proper chairs for their lecture halls instead?!). I bumped into a secondary skool senior. Good thing he still remembers me or it’ll b an embarrassing approach. TAR college isn’t that bad actually. Quite happening. Just that the whole structure of the buildings brings back the secondary skool aura. The stairs… the walls… the Chinese people… so retro. Anywayz, we headed towards bukit jalil and had lunch at sri petaling Carrefour which actually is called endah parade. Took us so long to look for that secluded food court where the No Smoking sign was totally ignored. We then went to the Astro office in Technology Park. Cool place to drive wei… no freakin cars inside! We had to go there to collect the 29” TV that Theresa won from the competition she took part. We (the Chans) are so proud of her achievement. Hahah, though it’s a little non academic… but hey! My cousin went on TV and won 1st runner up in that game show which I had no idea wat was going on! It’s called “I’m a TV Buff” hosted by the very gorgeous Wong Chui Ling. The questions were answered by the contestants just like *snap* that! and we didn’t even understand wat the questions were. Its crazy stuff man… so anywayz, she won a Pensonic TV, some cash and loads of tickets to the Astro Wah Lai Toi Drama Awards in Genting (which I will be going…. Though I don’t quite know who the stars are, but I’ll go there and clap my hands with enthusiasm). Oh ya, as I was saying… my day was nice. We went around that Astro building, I almost hit a UPS van =p found the TV set, but the TV was too bulky… can’t squeeze through the hole of that proton saga, it can’t fit in the boot either. Out of instinct, Theresa called our aunt we call Lai Sum. God is good. So coincidentally she was at a nearby place, shopping. The TV managed to fit nicely in her Kenari (which she calls Ferari) when we folded down the back seats. Awesome timing. The only “nice” part was… we had to wait in the rain for her to come. Which wasn’t that awesome. Finally we reached mama’s (grandma) house where Theresa stays, unloaded the TV, then we (Theresa, Lai Sum, mama and I) jz sat there and talked about mama’s family history. Really cool stuff happened during those days. My grandma’s grandma was a pure blood Japanese. Mama’s mom gave birth to 12 kids. 6 died. She died after giving birth to the last daughter (if she didn’t die then I think she would have come out with more). Then mama’s dad died 2 years after her mom’s death cuz he was broken hearted when his wife died. Mama’s older brother had a 2nd marriage, and has a crazy daughter who married a man with one ball. And now he left her. Dunno y… Cool family eh? I’m sure there are more juicy stories but mama was also too indulged in her Taiwan show so she changed the topic to the show’s story instead…. So… did u have a nice day? I know I did.

Reminiscing

Reminiscing can be a pass time or a bad habit, but for me, it’s just to entertain myself and have a checklist of what else I’ve not blissfully done that I can do in the near future. Such thoughts of malu-ation and times when I memper-toh-sui-kan my family’s name are priceless memories no one can erase.

2006 was a great year. I’m not saying it because it’s over. I’m saying it cuz I don’t mind living it one more time.
….errr, nah… that’s a bit too much.
Its just great la. U get the picture.

I left for the land of flies and barbies (BBQ). Where everdai is a good dai to die (in heavy OZ slang “it’s a good day today”).
Moved in with my aunt and uncle. Crammed myself in a puny room with Mandy (u’re the most tolerant roomie!!!).

watched the sun set with daddy

Studied hard.

Touched a kangaroo’s scrotum. Made my very own lasagne. Rocked Sam’s room. Drove my CG leader crazy. Played soccer. Became a mermaid. Drank milk and became strong. Jumped on a trampoline. Walked on granite island (jibabom!). conquered the beach. Went for an Ang Mo camp. came back from OZ land. Climbed the steepest steps of Angkor Wat. Committed a crime for being too cute with Tim =)

spent Christmas with my family... and cousins!

i had an awesome 2006!!!! And I foresee a mega awesome fantabulous year ahead!!!

1st time

one night, i did so many 1st-time things and it was all in one spot-- connaught pasar malam!

i had my 1st stinky tofu
i had my 1st lok lok experience
i walked all the way to the end of the longest PM in malaysia (konon)
i bought a ring in a PM
i went out with my new cg friends

... all for the 1st time.

and for the 1st time, i'm lazy to blog more about it... i shall lead u to the blog of someone who went with me that night =)

keeeeep holdin ohhhon

I knew this day would come. This day of gila bored-ness…. This very day which I can actually go out for a movie or to lepak with my kaki’s. I’m sitting home listening to fly.fm on this fly-day…. And avril lavign’s keep holding on was played 5 times today…. I need to go out!!!!! Oh I know wat I can do! Take all my clothes out and put them back in again! Woot~ oh ya, i cant across this mail today from kim yang. very interesting comments... and facts ;) >> If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. >>>>>>(Hardly seems worth it) >> If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas >>is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. >>>>>>(Now that's more like it!) >> The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the >>body to squirt blood 30 feet. >>>>>>(O.M.G.!) >> A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. >>>>(In my next life, I want to be a pig.) >> A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it >>starves to death. (Creepy.)! >>>>>>(I'm still not over the pig.) >> Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour >>>>>>>>(Don't try this at home, maybe at work) >> The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. >>>>>>>>("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!") >> The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human >>jumping the length of a football field. >>>>(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?) >> The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. >>>>>>(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) >> Some lions mate over 50 times a day. >>>>>>>>(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) >> Butterflies taste with their feet. >>>>>>(Something I always wanted to know.) >> The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. >>>>>>(Hmmmmmm......) >> Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. >>>>>>>>(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) >> Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. >>>>(okay, so that would be a good thing) >> A cat's urine glows under a black light. >>>>>>>>(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) >> An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. >>>>>>(I know some people like that.) >> Starfish have no brains >>>>>>(I know some people like that too.) >> Polar bears are left-handed. >>>>>>>>(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer) >> Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. >>>>>>(What about that pig??)

a little bit of melbourne

a nine day trip away from adelaide. it was expensive but worth more than that! i had so much fun i wish the trip didnt have to end... but then again... i couldnt wait to get back to msia (then) so i was happy it ended also la, haha.. anyhow, i had heaps of fun with boon pin, esther, patrick and jonathan in melbourne. esther and i bunked into deborah's chun apartment n her study room's sofa became my bed for 2 nights. i cant thank her more for letting us crash in her place (for free =p.... but we bought her 'thank you' sweets! ahha)

1st thing we did was have lunch. virgin blue's domestic flights dun serve anything... not even water... so we were starving when we touched down on melbourne. deb took us to a korean restaurant [Han Guuk Kwan]. then to Lygon street (high class italina street) for KoKoBlack!!!! we had chocmousse and hot choc and other choc stuff.... we swore not to hv anymore chocolates for the rest of the month! good thing it was 28th nov....

then we met up with boon's high skool friend. walked around Swanston, Elizabeth, Bourke, and Flinders street (so much cooler than Rundle Mall) then we lepak-ed at info centre, then went to the Crown Casino to have the $2.80 fish and chips. heeheee .... i got to shake hands with Wile. E. Coyote.

2nd day in melb... we wanted to be a little more adventourous.... we took the tram to flinders st. to have dim sum for b/fast. but all the chinese restaurants were closed! dont u have dim sum in the morning?!?!? anywayz, we found this expensive place called dragon boat nest ... or something like that. the food wasnt bad... jz a little pricy. i had phoenix claws!!! (chicken feet....). we then bought some tarts for the other half or our stomach, then went to smith street to SHOP!!!! woot~ we girls had fun =p

then we had lunch at a vietnamese restaurant called [mekong]. kononnya... jackie chan was there b4, hehe...

we plaed with the spinning door and got a little stuck... then we lined up for the very famous Krispy Kreme!!!!!

just look at the round little sweet things.... my 1st bite opened my eyes to heaven! hahah, jkjk... we took a tram to st. Kilda beach just to experience this yummilious creation. in the tram, esther and i met a divorced french lady who cant remove her necklace and asked for out help. it was cool talking to her but after the 40min trip in the tram, and after biding goodbye to the french lady, esther told me she saw her dig her nose and wipe her nose discharge on the window!!! exqiuzee mua!

after donuts, we had to go for something sweeter. Trampolene the gelatie! its our fellow ice cream's cousin... less cream... yummy...

the 40 mins tram ride back to the city gave esther and i the camwhore disease... imagine 40 mins of pure camwhoring.... more pix will b up in my multiply soon.... later that nite we went to Rialto tower to the highest floor-- observation deck. awesome view!!! then we went for greek dinner at [lambs] where the owner was a horny old man who wanted to hit on esther. hahah....

the next day, we set off to Phillip island where the little penguins dwell. before reaching the island, we stopped by some wildlife parks. had some scones, interacted with wild life, and...

observed.... the wonders of nature

there were actually lots o pix taken after this wild life park thing and also in penguin island, but its not with me now.... will post them up in multiply.

more pix to come!!!!

stay tuned~

letter to convention committee 06

Hi convy committee 06,
Not sure if u guys remember me or not but I’m one of the 3 girls who had to rush to the train station to catch our flight on the last day of convention. This is just something that I wanna share with u cuz 3 of us really saw how God was with us the whole day (well, not saying that other times He’s not there la, but on that day it was super real).

When the transport guy asked who had to board the plane after 6pm I put my hands up and waited for instructions. I didn’t know that I might not be able to catch my 6.30pm flight if I took the coach. Then he said to go get our bags and be in front of the dinning hall in 15 minutes time. I choked in my lunch and made my newly met friends write down their contacts in sonic speed then sped off for my luggage.

30 minutes went past and the 3 of us waited outside with the flies and all. No sign of the guy who was supposed to send us to the city (the guy who wore the shirt that said “stroke my ego”). So Laza (OCF Unisa president) found lee yoong (convy camp comander) and the frantic transport guy then everyone concluded that we had to get on the train that goes to the city then find our way to the airport.

We threw our bags in the boot of Laza’s car, and he sped off to the station. I felt super dizzy and sick as I still could feel my choked-down-lunch starting to make its way upwards.
Not a good sign.
Road sign: 80km/h, Laza’s car speed meter: 120km/h and increasing.
Not a good sign either.
The winding roads made it worst and I could barely read the concerned SMSes from other OCFers who witnessed our “graceful” departure.

Soon the torture ended. “I need to puke”, I said to Esther as Laza and Li Wen got out of the car. I saw the car door, I pulled it. I saw the road. I puked on it. Esther freaked (as if the trauma wasn’t enough). Before I knew it, I saw Laza flying into the station with my luggage and Esther’s, followed by Li Wen and the very confused Esther. I followed. Before reaching this station, Laza said we were 2 minutes late so if the train is on time we won’t make it. And the train was exactly 2 minutes late. I ran towards the train, no time to say bye and thanks to Laza. The auto door closed right behind me. It was THAT close.

I think it took us about 2 hours to get to the city, and then with instructions, we got down at the last stop and stood there at the station starring at each other. That was a funny sight. Li Wen went to the info board, pointed at the info counter sign and the toilet sign. Good choice.

Soon, we made our way to the toilet, and the info counter, still not knowing if we can make it in time to the airport or not. At that moment, we spotted a camper! Willy from Indon (can’t remember which Uni). Apparently he left with Ganni and with 3 other unknown campers and that 3 spaces were supposed to be for us girls (I think). He then showed us where to get to the Sky bus, we bought our tickets AND!!!! The bus came at the very moment the ticket fell in my hands. If we didn’t bump into Willy, and if we took a little longer in the toilet, we definitely would have missed this bus.

We got off the bus and went to the check-in counter at the airport. The officials said we had to get our check-in slip from the machines before lining up at the counter. But we didn’t print out our flight details. But thank God after a few phone calls, we got our details, printed the slip and then!!! We saw 2 girls from camp! And guess what…. They took the coach from the campsite directly to the airport!!! That could be the three of us! Saving us a lot more money and also getting to fellowship with others in the bus without having to puke and rush!

But anyhow, I don’t know why at that point, I was not angry at all. In fact, I was glad and relieved. Not only because we made it to the airport on time, but we also saw the amazing hands of God allocating public transports at the right time. I was so proud that I got to land my bum on a car, a train, a bus and a plane seat in less than 4 hours time. It was amazing. And also at that time, I just recalled the prodigal son’s story part 2, that when we see others being blessed, we shouldn’t be jealous and get angry. Because we’re actually being blessed all along!

There were so many things I learnt from convention, but I don’t think I can put it in words. This is just a small testimony to share with u all, as God’s name deserves all the glory and praise!

Thanks once again for serving God and making convention 06 possible. And sorry u had to read this long message… I can’t tahan la… must tell u in details =p

In Christ,
Jezamine

A communicator's communication

Different families will have different ways in communicating with each member. In some cases, it gets a little wacky. As for my mom, she tells me things through newspaper articles. Yeap… readings u get from the daily newspaper…

Being a loyal newspaper reader, my mom would go though the daily tabloid, without fail, during the wee hours of the day when everything else is practically dead. Sometimes she gets a little edgy if she didn’t consume her “daily dosage” of information.

So with that habit of hers, she’d cut out articles that interest her, files them up or sticks them in her scrap book. And for certain articles that would have a hidden message within it, she would cut it out and get me to read them the next day.

I remember once I was being stopped by both my parents from getting into a relationship, and she then gave me a few articles about relationships and even cuttings from Big Bro. She didn’t have to verbally tell me. I was warned through the writings of others which are being circulated nationwide.

Studying away from home allowed me to come back to a whole stack of newspaper cuttings she collected throughout the year. Articles ranging from interviews of famous Malaysian icons to “How to win in a singing competition”.

After reading each article, I’d hv to guess “what exactly r u trying to tell me this time, mom?”

I used to get paranoid with this form of communication between my mom and I. “Why cant u be a little normal and just tell me straight so I don’t hv to go around guessing”

But now, I could see that some things are better left unsaid—and better just being read and understood. Sometimes its also not easy bringing up a topic that is not worth discussing because it could make the whole situation even weirder and much worse. Plus, we still are not adaptable to the culture of just blurting out whatever we feel about something and expect the discussion to solve every equation. After all, we’re Asian—if you know wat I mean.

So in conclusion, my mom has a very unique and smart way in telling me things. Now I just gotta find a way to respond to her messages so that it could be a successful form of communication.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Stack the halls with sweets and chocolates, Fala la la la...la la la la Jez will fill them in her pockets, Fala la la la...la la la la Then we'll order meat and turkey, Fala la... la la laAA ... la la la Eat them up to fill our tummy, Fala la la la... la la la laaaa Blessed Christmas everyone!!!!

Cam cam cam cambodia

“Why Cambodia?!” others will ask when I tell them that I went to Siem Reap, Cambodia for a family trip.
I think it was cuz of the cheap Air Asia fair that my dad booked. And also cuz we’ve not been there b4. My dad went there in 1993 and it was super different then.

It was jz 2 days after I came back from Australia. Still trying very hard to adjust myself to the humidity, I had to bear with the extra heat and dust in Siem Reap. I was suffering….

As I was saying that the air ticket was the cheap one, we had to rush for good seats in the plane. I forgot that I’m back in a country that is soaked in Kiasu-ism. They were supposed to let the families with kids and senior citizens to board the plane 1st… but once the gates of hell was open, the middle aged dudes ran out of that low cost terminal, pass those families and straight pass the air stewardess with the nice bum (which I think my dad was also looking at =p). that was so scary… the uncle ran like there’s no tmr.

In the plane, the voice from speaker said “your life jacket is allocated below your seats…” and I saw my life jacket in the front pocket leh!!! Lagi scary! Dunno if it still works or not. The plane was small so we cud actually see the cockpit when they opened the cockpit door. And then I saw that the pilot with spex (?!?!) shrugged at the co-pilot. Wah, panic la… hahah, sorry la, this was my 1st experience on a low cost plane… plus! A fly came onboard too… my mom said it’ll faint b4 we reach Siem Reap. And she was right…

The airport was nice. Very grand and luxurious. But when we got out… the streets were dusty, people were in torn clothes, old motorbikes, sweaty and hungry looking… huge contrast.

Our tour guide, Mr. Seng DaLing thought us some Cambodian language. Soosday (Hello). SohSohBai (How r u?). Oh Koon (Thank you). We also had a driver, Mr. Pain. He spoke mandarin, but seldom spoke la. Mr. DaLing’s said that when he was young, they taught them how to hate and curse the king. (!??!!) and the current king is also not liked by the citizens… he fled the country when it was attacked. And came back with bad leadership skills also. So too bad.
But he’s a karaoke king! He sings on national tv and tells ppl he likes to “cheong K”. This corrupted country has a karaoke king! When I turned on the TV, channel 1 and 2 were channels just for karaoke. Seriously… Cambodian songs… and the MTV also made locally. Wah, super funny…

Anywayz, we visited heaps of temples. And these temples are ancient stone ones that look alike. Except for the one built by women. Banti Srey (Women’s Citidel). Chun man…. It was made with pink sandstones and pink sandstones are very rare in Cambodia! Girl power! The carvings were so intricate. It was built only by women, and the men stayed home to jaga anak.

We also went to the temple which they filmed Tomb Raider in. we stood on the spot where Angelina Jolie stood. We jz needed guns, tight leather pants and big boobs… the temple was called Ta Prohm which means Jungle temple cuz the temple is now covered and almost destroyed by roots of trees. Mother Nature claims the land. This temple was built for the king’s mother.

We went to Angkor Thom (the Great City). Entered Bayon through Tun Lay Ohm (South Gate), Pré Rup (change body), Preah Ko (Sacred Ox), Bakong… oh ya! And the highlight!!! Angkor Wat.

They said its one of the 7 man made wonders of the world. I checked online and it wasn’t… =( so disappointing. But jz to make myself feel better… I’VE BEEN TO ONE OF THE 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD!!! WOOT~
It wasn’t very different from the other temples. This was jz very much bigger and higher, and wider and has more tourists. The challenging part was to climb up the steep steps to the peak, which only my dad and I took up the challenge. Not forgetting that I’m scared of heights… I kept my eyes on the peak and never looked back. The other challenge was to come down! Hahah, but it was fun. Dad and I did some camwhoring up there.

The carvings on the walls very very cool. Imagine reading stories from walls, not from books. And there are always these drawings of the Apsara dancers. It’s the ancient dance which we saw in one of the restaurants. Not much different from the Thai dance, but this one looks more like the movements of a pigeon…
Back to the carvings, our guide showed us 2 very funny carvings. One was the apsara dancer smiling with her teeth showing. And another was the apsara dancer sticking her tongue out. Joker la those carvers.

And u know what… for 4 days we were using a stolen vehicle! Apparently, 70% of the vehicles on the roads are stolen. No number plates… some were left hand drive, some right hand. Memang tak ada system. I only managed to spot 2 traffic lights, and the motorbikes were like flies on cow dung! 4 adults on one motorbike…. Geng… We didn’t know how to cross the road… and there’s no age limit for driving. This 13 year-old minister’s son drove a Lexus. How unfair!!!

Another important pointer… one must always remember that one is not in Korea but in Cambodia. The place was infested with Korean tourist. So much so that they had Korean restaurants and hotels just for them. When we were in Tonle Sap, they had floating karaoke parlours for Koreans. Another cool thing was the Korean church which was also floating.

Overall, I had fun. Just because I went with my family. My dad said the money was well spent, cuz all four of us got to spend time together. We had to motivate Charmaine to keep walking cuz it was quite boring for her… temple after temple. We had to tahan mom’s bragging about buying souvenirs. We had to laugh at dad’s lame jokes. I love them heaps (not the jokes… I love my family). Once at lunch time we had coconut ice-cream and coffee. Dad was too lazy to get milk and sugar for his coffee, so he put coconut ice-cream in his coffee, and said it tasted good… so that’s where I got the trait of mixing my food up…

This non-luxurious trip made me appreciate the stuff we often take for granted. And I also felt for the kids who have to beg to have a meal for their families. A speaker from convention 06 said “Lord, break my heart with the things that break Yours”. Really, my heart broke when I saw this little boy with nothing but a torn tshirt, asking for money beside his weak grandmother. I can’t give him anything cuz if I do, the other will swamp over me. All I could do was to pray that this country will be given justice and peace one day.

More pix : http://littlejez.multiply.com/photos/album/15
we took more than 600 photos!!! Of course, I had to pick out some to post…

The dead birdS

I remember I used t go thru this phase when I’d freak out whenever I walk pass a light/lamp/bulb and it fuses. Last year I remember fusing about 3 to 4 lights when I walked pass it. And a few times the lights just went off when I’m near it, and then came back on again whenever I walk away. I thought I had super power. I guess it was just coincidence or mere ‘mou liu’ness and over sensitivity. I also thought I was jinxed with this curse that whenever I touch techy gadgets, they’ll fail me and play dead. It happened to my mobile phone, computer, mp3, laptop… and sometimes even the TV remote control. I wasn’t superstitious… I was just a furious girl who can’t use gadgets… now something is wrong with my mp3. when I play live music, it is as if the crowd cheering for the band is having a synchronized hick up going on. And it is as if the Jazz genre changed its style to staccato beats though out the whole song… darn…well, bottom line is… me and gadgets are like ‘itchy and scratchy’ from The Simpsons, trying to kill each other but no one dies at the end. But this time, I don’t think I’m being too sensitive on this particular issue. Remember I told u about me seeing

reason for seasons

Having experienced a bit of all four seasons, I can finally say I’ve been to Australia. The locals say this year’s weather is kinda crazy, so whatever I’ve experienced was a hoax. Yet I’m determined to tell others that “I’ve encountered all fours”. Winter made Adelaide dead-er than ever. Good thing there’s no snow or else I think I’d fall into depression mode and kill myself with icicles. The cold morning I had to fight to get to uni was bad. The late buses weren’t helping and it was worst when I had to pee. But it was fun being all warm and cuddly indoors around the heater/fire place. And when u go out of a building u breathe like a dragon with smoke coming out of ur nostrils. Heaters became my best friend and sleeping with my hot darling (my laptop) kept me warm all night. Spring wasn’t really as bouncy as I thought it would be. It was still icy cold at night and sizzling hot at noon. The mix of winter and summer made ppl fall sick and hay fever was so common, Subway staff were falling sick and I had to fill in their shifts (but usually I’ll make up excuses and say I cant make it =p). Flowers began to bloom and trees had its glow again! The rain was supposed to fall in winter but it was late this year and it came in spring. The smell of rain and the damp feeling made me feel home sick. But the trauma of bird attack still remains as my worse spring experience. Summer is a bummer if u hate the heat. If u think the heat in msia is agonizing, u’re wrong. At least u get to sweat and make things equal. Over here… u can only cry in pain when u walk under direct sunlight for a period of time. Its quite disturbing knowing that u wont realize that u’re being char-grilled by the UV rays cuz of the cold breeze. Yet, the good part is that u can see more hot chicks on the streets as they wear minimal clothing and chunky dudes staying ventilated. Autumn was like the cooler part of summer, balding the trees and dirtying the streets. I didn’t really pay attention to how autumn was like cuz I was busy preparing myself for winter (which wasn’t as cold as I thought it would be). But the skies were always so beautiful and the sunsets can make u tear. Actually, come to think of it, the sky is always pretty in every season. Sometimes it’s spilled with pinkish orange with roaming cream clouds. Sometimes it’ll be purple and yellow with a hint of turquoise. A fashion faux pas but it’s an awesome sky-sight if u ask me. I really like the idea of changing seasons. It took me 18 long years to adapt to a year long summer and now I’m starting to like the changing experience.

Independence Day

As most of u would hv known by now…. being independent is not as easy as it seems. But there’s something harder than that—it’s to PROVE that u’re CAPABLE of being INDEPENDENT that’s hard. Well, for all I can remember, I’ve been trying to do the hard part all along, and I never seem to be getting anywhere. Its like going round and round… [ring around a roses….] I’ve been a good girl, a good daughter [never fought back at parents], a good student [didn’t throw the exercise book back at my teacher], a good sister [gave her my old clothes], a good friend [forgave a friend for not sending me off], a good niece [sang loudly only in the shower and when I’m home alone], a good employee [didn’t stick my hand in the oven and sue the company for making me lose a limb] …. All is good But all those stuff just won’t establish the fact that I’m old enuf to take care of myself. Maybe I’m not. But if I’m not given the chance to try, how would I know? Aneewayzzzz, my point is…I wanna go to the deep end of the pool. Where most people my age are at. I know I will be complaining how hard it is to paddle at the deep end, but at least I’m where I’m supposed to be. But I shouldn’t complain… its cool to swim around with floats =) I wanted to move out. I wanted to smell the hard side of life (the real way), and I needed to stay nearer to civilization. I also wanted more freedom and hv control of my actions more. Not forgetting some privacy. And to be treated like a young lady who is responsible for her own troubles. I know how to wash plates and I am not hiding myself in my room aimlessly surfing the net!!! [the list goes on]I have a life. But a very controlled life…. So I thought moving out was my solution. But guess what… that’s controlled too! So heck with it… I’m gonna be satisfied with my shallow end of the pool. Enjoy luxurious home cooked meals, smile at more sarcastic naggings, and spend precious time with good old Adelaide metro busses (not so good sometimes). It’ll do me good… eat like a fat pig and be pampered. At least for jz one more year. Independence Day will come.

the story of Dude

This dude had a girlfriend called Loraine. They went out for a couple of years and one sinful day, he met this girl with the name Clearly. Clearly is a very sweet and gentle girl. Totally opposite of Loraine. That’s y Dude suddenly had the strong feelings for Clearly. But as u know… guys who gets caught with having an affair will end up pretty much dead. And that was what happened. With her razor sharp woman senses, Loraine knew something fishy was going on in Dude’s puny mind. So she tracked down his thoughts, and found out about little miss Clearly. Being outraged and fiery, Loraine burst into tears and fought with Dude and threatened to kill herself if he still has the intention to even THINK about Clearly. Ending up by the lake near Dude’s house, their heated argument still didn’t cool down. Suddenly! (as all you potential directors mite aspect) Loraine tripped and fell into the black lake, which swallowed her like a … like a… like a calm lake sucking in an angry girl who found out her boyfriend sucks at keeping secrets. After that catastrophe, Dude starred into the lake for awhile, then skipped away, back to his home singing: “I can see Clearly now, Loraine is gone~”

i'm going crazy....



if i have a camera phone... this blog will b more interesting...

this is wat happens when jez gets a tiny bit crazy.

i pose with my darling...


and i force people to smile with me....



ps: i'm not reading that harry potter book ( as seen in the pic...) i had to analyze book covers and that one one of them-- the indonesian/malay version of HP

pps: i think i'm ornithophobic (fear of birds)

ppps: i now take a longer route home from the bus stop cuz i can get myself to walk down that path ever again...

pppps: ps means postscript, and play station, and pancake sauce

p(^5)s: i like my new bangs (fringe). but its growing really fast...