when i was small-er

Have u ever experienced this: loving someone so much and u try so hard to tell them that u love them, but u just can’t say it out?

I’m experiencing it rite now…

I love my grandparents so much!!! But I just dunno how to say it out. Tak kan I say “ngo ngoi lei” (I love u in Cantonese) rite…? Its gonna turn out so wrong…

I was taken care of by both my grandparents when I was born. Mom and Dad had to work. Mom only stopped work when charmaine came along, but then she was bz caring for her, so I still stuck to my grand dudes. Popo used to be the bad guy… I mean woman… in my childhood days. She’d put me on the potty as punishment (she calls it ‘dun’) for doing something wrong, and I’ll cry until my granddad comes to sayang me. I call him datuk, and I still do. We (his grandkids) couldn’t pronounce goong goong last time, so we gave him this glamorous title. My other cousins from my mom’s side were taken care of by their parents, so I was the only grand kid that datuk can spoil =p

Those days weren’t very sweet for a growing child who had minimal parental love (maybe I did have a lot of it but I didn’t feel it). The TV was my best friend. Sesame Street thought me English. I drew Barney on the wall and got sent to my potty again. I played with the kids upstairs and I made them get scolded by their huge mom. I used to pick up saga seeds down at the lawn and played masak-masak with it. I used to eat Milo powder cuz I was too lazy to fix myself a Milo drink. We balanced on yellow poles to see who stays on longest. I lost everytime cuz my feet were small… until datuk comes to help me cheat.

I grew up in this flat unit since I was a baby till end of primary school. Popo and datuk thought me billions of things: never to be late, never to lie, not to sit too near to the tv, to respect the elderly, smoking is bad (datuk let me take a puff to prove it sucks), to be nice to my friends, how to boil rice, to pick up after my own mess, etc.

I would run for cover when popo comes home from her daily mah jong game. A monster appears if she lost. She changed a lot after she accepted Christ. And I’m so happy for her. Datuk remains the same b4 and after baptism. He continues to be very loving but still smokes a lot. Guess he can’t stop it d… I breathed in smoke like breathing in normal air. That’s how I got my asthma issue. Anyhow, I still love them both.

Mid of last year, I got a call from home. Popo was admitted to the hospital cuz she had stroke. I almost fainted. It was such a nasty feeling… knowing that ur loved one is not well and u cant do anything about it cuz u’re so far away. I was so worried I couldn’t sleep one nite.

So now that I’m back, and popo is slowly recovering, I’m spending my time with them as I reminisce on my childhood days, when popo would boil my favorite ginseng chicken soup when I was suspected with dengue. And when I was in college, she would boil black pepper pig’s stomach soup when I come back from nilai (that’s not my fav but she thought it was, so I jz drank it).

Datuk used to have this mini bengkel at the corner of the balcony where he kept all his tools. He’s the handy man in the family. He fixed countless machines, made me cool stuff with wood and he even can do girlie stuff like sew “5 stones” for me. Datuk used to drive me to kindergarten in his Austin and I’d be so embarrassed getting down from his old junk. Now I think it’s a family treasure.

I love my grandparents, and it’s so obvious they love me as well. They didn’t have to tell me that, but I just know it. So I guess I wont hv to tell them after all =)

popo's morning tai chi session. i tried waking up at 6 to go out with her that morning but failed... i ended up going out with datuk and jz took some pix, hahha...

i've not gone to this market for 10-ish years d!!! ntg much changed. roti bakar and milo still rox!

the front bike porch where old men would sit there in the evening playing chess and would swear out loud in hokkien and cantonese. last time when there were less bikes, i'd play with my friends where we'd walk on those greyish metal things from each pink brick-seat to another. not easy...

HAND (have a nice day)

My day today was …nice. Sometimes I dislike the word nice cuz it makes u guess how nice is nice? “Have a nice day” … what do u mean? Go dance in the rain and get hit by a car then the driver sends u to the hospital and turns out that the driver is a good looking hunk who just broke up with his gf? Or to stay home relax and unwind, avoiding all the crazy stuff outside? What’s [nice]? Well, today… my day was really nice. My cousin Theresa came over to pick me up at 9am, all the way to TAR college. I went jz for fun. She went there for lecture. She hustled around her exam slips and I sat there on the bench for 2 hours, sleeping most of the time (for goodness sake… cant that college change the whole bench idea and use proper chairs for their lecture halls instead?!). I bumped into a secondary skool senior. Good thing he still remembers me or it’ll b an embarrassing approach. TAR college isn’t that bad actually. Quite happening. Just that the whole structure of the buildings brings back the secondary skool aura. The stairs… the walls… the Chinese people… so retro. Anywayz, we headed towards bukit jalil and had lunch at sri petaling Carrefour which actually is called endah parade. Took us so long to look for that secluded food court where the No Smoking sign was totally ignored. We then went to the Astro office in Technology Park. Cool place to drive wei… no freakin cars inside! We had to go there to collect the 29” TV that Theresa won from the competition she took part. We (the Chans) are so proud of her achievement. Hahah, though it’s a little non academic… but hey! My cousin went on TV and won 1st runner up in that game show which I had no idea wat was going on! It’s called “I’m a TV Buff” hosted by the very gorgeous Wong Chui Ling. The questions were answered by the contestants just like *snap* that! and we didn’t even understand wat the questions were. Its crazy stuff man… so anywayz, she won a Pensonic TV, some cash and loads of tickets to the Astro Wah Lai Toi Drama Awards in Genting (which I will be going…. Though I don’t quite know who the stars are, but I’ll go there and clap my hands with enthusiasm). Oh ya, as I was saying… my day was nice. We went around that Astro building, I almost hit a UPS van =p found the TV set, but the TV was too bulky… can’t squeeze through the hole of that proton saga, it can’t fit in the boot either. Out of instinct, Theresa called our aunt we call Lai Sum. God is good. So coincidentally she was at a nearby place, shopping. The TV managed to fit nicely in her Kenari (which she calls Ferari) when we folded down the back seats. Awesome timing. The only “nice” part was… we had to wait in the rain for her to come. Which wasn’t that awesome. Finally we reached mama’s (grandma) house where Theresa stays, unloaded the TV, then we (Theresa, Lai Sum, mama and I) jz sat there and talked about mama’s family history. Really cool stuff happened during those days. My grandma’s grandma was a pure blood Japanese. Mama’s mom gave birth to 12 kids. 6 died. She died after giving birth to the last daughter (if she didn’t die then I think she would have come out with more). Then mama’s dad died 2 years after her mom’s death cuz he was broken hearted when his wife died. Mama’s older brother had a 2nd marriage, and has a crazy daughter who married a man with one ball. And now he left her. Dunno y… Cool family eh? I’m sure there are more juicy stories but mama was also too indulged in her Taiwan show so she changed the topic to the show’s story instead…. So… did u have a nice day? I know I did.

Reminiscing

Reminiscing can be a pass time or a bad habit, but for me, it’s just to entertain myself and have a checklist of what else I’ve not blissfully done that I can do in the near future. Such thoughts of malu-ation and times when I memper-toh-sui-kan my family’s name are priceless memories no one can erase.

2006 was a great year. I’m not saying it because it’s over. I’m saying it cuz I don’t mind living it one more time.
….errr, nah… that’s a bit too much.
Its just great la. U get the picture.

I left for the land of flies and barbies (BBQ). Where everdai is a good dai to die (in heavy OZ slang “it’s a good day today”).
Moved in with my aunt and uncle. Crammed myself in a puny room with Mandy (u’re the most tolerant roomie!!!).

watched the sun set with daddy

Studied hard.

Touched a kangaroo’s scrotum. Made my very own lasagne. Rocked Sam’s room. Drove my CG leader crazy. Played soccer. Became a mermaid. Drank milk and became strong. Jumped on a trampoline. Walked on granite island (jibabom!). conquered the beach. Went for an Ang Mo camp. came back from OZ land. Climbed the steepest steps of Angkor Wat. Committed a crime for being too cute with Tim =)

spent Christmas with my family... and cousins!

i had an awesome 2006!!!! And I foresee a mega awesome fantabulous year ahead!!!

1st time

one night, i did so many 1st-time things and it was all in one spot-- connaught pasar malam!

i had my 1st stinky tofu
i had my 1st lok lok experience
i walked all the way to the end of the longest PM in malaysia (konon)
i bought a ring in a PM
i went out with my new cg friends

... all for the 1st time.

and for the 1st time, i'm lazy to blog more about it... i shall lead u to the blog of someone who went with me that night =)

keeeeep holdin ohhhon

I knew this day would come. This day of gila bored-ness…. This very day which I can actually go out for a movie or to lepak with my kaki’s. I’m sitting home listening to fly.fm on this fly-day…. And avril lavign’s keep holding on was played 5 times today…. I need to go out!!!!! Oh I know wat I can do! Take all my clothes out and put them back in again! Woot~ oh ya, i cant across this mail today from kim yang. very interesting comments... and facts ;) >> If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. >>>>>>(Hardly seems worth it) >> If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas >>is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. >>>>>>(Now that's more like it!) >> The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the >>body to squirt blood 30 feet. >>>>>>(O.M.G.!) >> A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. >>>>(In my next life, I want to be a pig.) >> A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it >>starves to death. (Creepy.)! >>>>>>(I'm still not over the pig.) >> Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour >>>>>>>>(Don't try this at home, maybe at work) >> The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. >>>>>>>>("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!") >> The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human >>jumping the length of a football field. >>>>(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?) >> The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. >>>>>>(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) >> Some lions mate over 50 times a day. >>>>>>>>(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) >> Butterflies taste with their feet. >>>>>>(Something I always wanted to know.) >> The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. >>>>>>(Hmmmmmm......) >> Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. >>>>>>>>(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) >> Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. >>>>(okay, so that would be a good thing) >> A cat's urine glows under a black light. >>>>>>>>(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) >> An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. >>>>>>(I know some people like that.) >> Starfish have no brains >>>>>>(I know some people like that too.) >> Polar bears are left-handed. >>>>>>>>(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer) >> Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. >>>>>>(What about that pig??)

a little bit of melbourne

a nine day trip away from adelaide. it was expensive but worth more than that! i had so much fun i wish the trip didnt have to end... but then again... i couldnt wait to get back to msia (then) so i was happy it ended also la, haha.. anyhow, i had heaps of fun with boon pin, esther, patrick and jonathan in melbourne. esther and i bunked into deborah's chun apartment n her study room's sofa became my bed for 2 nights. i cant thank her more for letting us crash in her place (for free =p.... but we bought her 'thank you' sweets! ahha)

1st thing we did was have lunch. virgin blue's domestic flights dun serve anything... not even water... so we were starving when we touched down on melbourne. deb took us to a korean restaurant [Han Guuk Kwan]. then to Lygon street (high class italina street) for KoKoBlack!!!! we had chocmousse and hot choc and other choc stuff.... we swore not to hv anymore chocolates for the rest of the month! good thing it was 28th nov....

then we met up with boon's high skool friend. walked around Swanston, Elizabeth, Bourke, and Flinders street (so much cooler than Rundle Mall) then we lepak-ed at info centre, then went to the Crown Casino to have the $2.80 fish and chips. heeheee .... i got to shake hands with Wile. E. Coyote.

2nd day in melb... we wanted to be a little more adventourous.... we took the tram to flinders st. to have dim sum for b/fast. but all the chinese restaurants were closed! dont u have dim sum in the morning?!?!? anywayz, we found this expensive place called dragon boat nest ... or something like that. the food wasnt bad... jz a little pricy. i had phoenix claws!!! (chicken feet....). we then bought some tarts for the other half or our stomach, then went to smith street to SHOP!!!! woot~ we girls had fun =p

then we had lunch at a vietnamese restaurant called [mekong]. kononnya... jackie chan was there b4, hehe...

we plaed with the spinning door and got a little stuck... then we lined up for the very famous Krispy Kreme!!!!!

just look at the round little sweet things.... my 1st bite opened my eyes to heaven! hahah, jkjk... we took a tram to st. Kilda beach just to experience this yummilious creation. in the tram, esther and i met a divorced french lady who cant remove her necklace and asked for out help. it was cool talking to her but after the 40min trip in the tram, and after biding goodbye to the french lady, esther told me she saw her dig her nose and wipe her nose discharge on the window!!! exqiuzee mua!

after donuts, we had to go for something sweeter. Trampolene the gelatie! its our fellow ice cream's cousin... less cream... yummy...

the 40 mins tram ride back to the city gave esther and i the camwhore disease... imagine 40 mins of pure camwhoring.... more pix will b up in my multiply soon.... later that nite we went to Rialto tower to the highest floor-- observation deck. awesome view!!! then we went for greek dinner at [lambs] where the owner was a horny old man who wanted to hit on esther. hahah....

the next day, we set off to Phillip island where the little penguins dwell. before reaching the island, we stopped by some wildlife parks. had some scones, interacted with wild life, and...

observed.... the wonders of nature

there were actually lots o pix taken after this wild life park thing and also in penguin island, but its not with me now.... will post them up in multiply.

more pix to come!!!!

stay tuned~

letter to convention committee 06

Hi convy committee 06,
Not sure if u guys remember me or not but I’m one of the 3 girls who had to rush to the train station to catch our flight on the last day of convention. This is just something that I wanna share with u cuz 3 of us really saw how God was with us the whole day (well, not saying that other times He’s not there la, but on that day it was super real).

When the transport guy asked who had to board the plane after 6pm I put my hands up and waited for instructions. I didn’t know that I might not be able to catch my 6.30pm flight if I took the coach. Then he said to go get our bags and be in front of the dinning hall in 15 minutes time. I choked in my lunch and made my newly met friends write down their contacts in sonic speed then sped off for my luggage.

30 minutes went past and the 3 of us waited outside with the flies and all. No sign of the guy who was supposed to send us to the city (the guy who wore the shirt that said “stroke my ego”). So Laza (OCF Unisa president) found lee yoong (convy camp comander) and the frantic transport guy then everyone concluded that we had to get on the train that goes to the city then find our way to the airport.

We threw our bags in the boot of Laza’s car, and he sped off to the station. I felt super dizzy and sick as I still could feel my choked-down-lunch starting to make its way upwards.
Not a good sign.
Road sign: 80km/h, Laza’s car speed meter: 120km/h and increasing.
Not a good sign either.
The winding roads made it worst and I could barely read the concerned SMSes from other OCFers who witnessed our “graceful” departure.

Soon the torture ended. “I need to puke”, I said to Esther as Laza and Li Wen got out of the car. I saw the car door, I pulled it. I saw the road. I puked on it. Esther freaked (as if the trauma wasn’t enough). Before I knew it, I saw Laza flying into the station with my luggage and Esther’s, followed by Li Wen and the very confused Esther. I followed. Before reaching this station, Laza said we were 2 minutes late so if the train is on time we won’t make it. And the train was exactly 2 minutes late. I ran towards the train, no time to say bye and thanks to Laza. The auto door closed right behind me. It was THAT close.

I think it took us about 2 hours to get to the city, and then with instructions, we got down at the last stop and stood there at the station starring at each other. That was a funny sight. Li Wen went to the info board, pointed at the info counter sign and the toilet sign. Good choice.

Soon, we made our way to the toilet, and the info counter, still not knowing if we can make it in time to the airport or not. At that moment, we spotted a camper! Willy from Indon (can’t remember which Uni). Apparently he left with Ganni and with 3 other unknown campers and that 3 spaces were supposed to be for us girls (I think). He then showed us where to get to the Sky bus, we bought our tickets AND!!!! The bus came at the very moment the ticket fell in my hands. If we didn’t bump into Willy, and if we took a little longer in the toilet, we definitely would have missed this bus.

We got off the bus and went to the check-in counter at the airport. The officials said we had to get our check-in slip from the machines before lining up at the counter. But we didn’t print out our flight details. But thank God after a few phone calls, we got our details, printed the slip and then!!! We saw 2 girls from camp! And guess what…. They took the coach from the campsite directly to the airport!!! That could be the three of us! Saving us a lot more money and also getting to fellowship with others in the bus without having to puke and rush!

But anyhow, I don’t know why at that point, I was not angry at all. In fact, I was glad and relieved. Not only because we made it to the airport on time, but we also saw the amazing hands of God allocating public transports at the right time. I was so proud that I got to land my bum on a car, a train, a bus and a plane seat in less than 4 hours time. It was amazing. And also at that time, I just recalled the prodigal son’s story part 2, that when we see others being blessed, we shouldn’t be jealous and get angry. Because we’re actually being blessed all along!

There were so many things I learnt from convention, but I don’t think I can put it in words. This is just a small testimony to share with u all, as God’s name deserves all the glory and praise!

Thanks once again for serving God and making convention 06 possible. And sorry u had to read this long message… I can’t tahan la… must tell u in details =p

In Christ,
Jezamine