with gratitude

Having so many things that clutter my mind, I constantly find myself in moments where I cant feel anything or just not know what emotions I have. As I was walking to work, I unleashed the thoughts that were already clanging in my mind.

Why am I not getting anything for my research placement? what if I dont get anything? I wont be able to finish my degree, and I wont be able to graduate... What if I am not able to find a job here? Then PR would be impossible. Decisions made by faith... are they going to come to pass?

It was quite cold then, so I prayed for sunshine. Fair enough, God sent the sun. But then, droplets of rain started to fall. It rained with the sun still shining. I blasted my mp3 player as the wind gushed strongly against my face. Why Lord, Why?! No placement, late for work, and rain with strong wind.

Emotions started to stir when this song came up next in my playlist.

Gratitude - by Nicole Nordeman

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

The wind was still strong, the rain was still pouring, my tears were dried even before it could surface because of the wind. i was still cold, and yes, I was still late for work. But hey, the sunshine, was still there. It was the hope that I was running towards. He granted me peace.

Placements? Maybe not, not today.

So if that's the case... I'll still give thanks to my Saviour, who has EVERYTHING planned nicely for me

...with gratitude.