skool-time journal found

As I was ‘packing’ my room today, I found this dusty journal by the edge of my cupboard, being wedged between files n more files. “Chan Yee Ai, Jezamine; Journal; 4sc1” was written in bold on the front page.
I never knew I could write back then! Haha, seriously. This was an ‘official’ journal that we had to hand in every week to Pn. Ng, n it was always a bane for us when we also had other skool work to chew on. Anywayz, I read my work, n saw a few “Good” as remarks from my English teacher, heehee. The 1st was about my new year’s resolution, next was about Chinese new year celebrations (pssst... notice how many weeks I skipped =þ)
I particularly liked this one with the title “if only I could…”. I wrote that if only I could hv the ability to read minds. To know when or when not to do something…. And I also said how nice it’ll b if I could know wat other think about me, n to know wat I wanna know n to know who heidi’s crush is… (yeap, that was wat I wrote) hahaha, imagine how ‘bat’ I was…
There were more cool stuff that I jz cant believe I actually wrote n handed it in to Pn. Ng. I think I’ll slip this journal back where I found it, wedged between files n more files. Until maybe 30 years from now I’d read it again, n I’ll see wat kind of a girl I was when I was in 4sc1.

no frisbee..... =(

Yes…yes… y din blog for so long mah… cuz exams lo. Now that I’m close to taking my clothes out from closet, refolding it n placing it back nicely again, jz to kill time, I suddenly remembered I had better things to do than that (actually was reminded of blogging by tim’s blog, heehee)
Anywayz, I was jz sitting here selamba on my desk, going thru this cool site www.jumbotak.com to wait for the clock to strike 6 then I’ll dash out for Frisbee… until… the culprit of all outdoor activities fell from the open sky ….RAIN!!!! of all things… haih… so, I shall try to express wat was in my mind for the past few days that I did not blog about.
Well, basically I went thru some pretty hard times getting myself to really study hard for my finals. Like picking up the book n reading it for the 3rd time, n doing some exercises… but the attempts were never successful. All I did was browse thru my own notes that I made when I was in class or during my revision for the past few semesters. Thank God the questions were not that bad. Some were the killer, but I managed to pull myself thru n get to the other side where the grass is greener n the skies bluer, heehee. Now I’m half way there….well, almost there. One more last bird to kill…accounts. Accounts is jz not my thing. I mean, no offence but cant they jz do business in a simpler way…?! Anywayz, I’ve no regrets taking accounts as one of my 5 subs. Made me realize that I’ll leave the counting of taxes n bills to my future husband, nyek…
Ok, enuf about studies. N more of other stuff…. Like… like… theres jz so many things…! Well, I went for planet shakers’ concert last Friday jz after my law paper. Was so cool, looking at the kids of the lead singer worship God in such a genuine way. No showing off, no “hey! Look at me! I’m on stage n u’re not! Nyeh nyeh..”, everyone was jz worshiping the awesome dude up there from where they’re standing. The crew, the band, the PA ppl, n the young ppl from all over asia. Then after the concert, I met up with my long lost (fake) cousin, timo!! Had supper then back to shua’s hse. We wanted to watch ‘into the blue’ but couldn’t hear wat they were saying but cud only see the super hot Jessica kissing her not-so-hot bf. Anyways, the 3 of us fell asleep on the really comfortable mattress n sofa(I sleep-walked to the bed later that nite), n woke up really late the next morning. It was cool having to stay over at shua’s place. Chatting with his granma in the morning with my really blur mind. Good thing horny knew wat to say to the wise lady(cuz he got up earliest)
Ok, I think I’ll blog more next time. it’s raining really heavily now, n I dowana kill horny’s wife(his laptop) using it cuz my husband(my com) is currently very very ill(according to my cuz bro, aka the family com doc)
Till next time. *peace out*

I was wrong

I was wrong…. I shouldn’t hv expected things to be that bad. With a God so great n mighty, I shouldn’t even b experiencing the slightest bit of boredom. And by complaining, I hv given in to my weaker self… which is bad. I said it myself, “complaint is the language of the weak” n I shall not b weak, especially during the hard times.
I thought I would b a depressed gurl for the entire week cuz most of my friends are back in their home town, n I’ll b here alone with books n pass year questions. Well, it surely makes my life easier that I still hv some friends here that’ll keep me company. Last nite, I thought I’d b stuck in my room with dinner in a CFC box, without F.R.I.E.N.D.S. for entertainment. But guess what… God sent me 3 huge sized angels! Who took me for dinner at AK(out of grounds of inti coll) made me laugh n loosen up, then took me out again to this all-time famous wan ton mee shop which opens at 1am. Oh ya, they also took me to grand union, aka garden mart, aka the only big retail store that looks like any supermarket in kl. Alwyn, Ken, and Sunny came to pick me up, n I ate nasi pataya over some pure lame jokes. Din know sunny cud b so lame as well, hehe. Had a look see at garden mart, then went back to study some law, then went out again with the 3 big guys for the ultimate supper! The shop / road side stall was quite rundown, but the food was good n the place was so… homey. I learnt a lot from their conversation last nite. Though it was in hakka, but I managed to catch some good stuff about being a responsible Christian. Came back at 3, n woke up at 9 this morning. So wat say u? God is awesome rite? I underestimated his power of providing for his children. So I was wrong.

decisions, decisions, decisions...

Decisions are stuff that I always try to avoid, but it never stops hovering over me. So I’ve no choice but to get used to it, especially living away from home, staying in campus… deciding on wat to eat can simply give u a spontaneous headache. I can see heads of campus ppl nodding their heads now.
Last week, I made a decision—to go home n not rot in my hostel room alone (since grace-my roomie was leaving for her hometown d). I also decided that I’ll b studying at home; no shopping, no yam cha, no calling up old friends. But, sometimes I jz can’t live up to my decisions/expectations =þ
I went home n was embraced by my sis’ hug, popo’s good soup, n seas of temptations. I watched 3 movies in a day, ate tom yam mee with super chun dumplings, played ‘boggles’ with sis, n cleaned my mp3 headset with toner (doesn’t work). However, however… I managed to revise 5 chapters of law, n did 2 pass-year papers of maths! So… was my decision practically jz mou dak deng or what? Well, I wont jz get all contented with my little accomplishment. I’ll b living like a freak for the next few weeks, sleeping eating studying eating studying sleeping…. So I won’t b blogging so often. Wish me luck n strength. There’s a war for me to fight! *operation C.W.A.L.!!!*

not mythical, but friends in reality

Trials went pass jz like that *snap* n now I’m in the rush of getting through the real thing n have the time of my life after that!!!! Actually…I’m ALREADY having the time of my life. After the week of life-less studying, eating, sleeping, n trying to wake up on time every morning, I made it a point to go hang out with my best buds. I dunno y, but every time I’m with them… ntg can stop us from being lame n ‘duh’. It’s part of life. I’ve grown to enjoy every bit of it.
Well, we watched the myth by jacky chan. Was cool how they fought on the rat poison n how jack’s house was in a ship! So cool man. Ate KFC for lunch. Speaking of which, there’s this chicken selling restaurant in taman desa called KLG! So zha dou… anywayz, after that, we ‘tried’ to buy horny a shirt, but ended up letting him buy a foot ball for himself, and also getting a puma water bottle from me. Shua n I keep buying stuff for each other so that whenever we use that thing, it’ll remind us of each other, hahah, that’s wat u do with friends, yeah?
Well, headed back to nilai after failing in buying a formal high heeled pointy black shoe for myself… with a satisfied spirit. I cant thank God more for blessing me with two awesome friends n a little weekend’s break from studies. Back to study mode now. Pls pray for me… hope I’ll make it thru this time. Peace out~

We saw, we conquered, we left

The Malaysian Parliament—somewhere so dull yet so interesting at the same time. I went there last Wednesday, with the law students. Started off pretty early, but as usual, the bus was late. Reached there at about 9 plus. I wanted to sleep in the bus (cuz I practically din sleep the nite b4- internet explorer was down n I had to finish my econs ass, so I waited blankly all nite for it, but failed) anyhow, when we got there, we were told that girls with short sleeve shirts(not sleeveless) or skirts slightly higher than knee length n guys without ties were not allowed in the parliament building. Good thing I wore pants n long sleeve shirt… so when they were done filtering us, I was the only SAM jan intake student in there. The whole situation was weird. Everyone keep saying the word “weird”, though it’s not totally weird, but its jz the closest word to the situation. Poor liz was left outside with sharon n praga. About 8 girls n a guy was left to wait for us while we were being scanned from head to toe b4 going up to the 2nd level. All camera phones n cameras were kept at one place, while hand bags had to b kept in the lockers. We were like little army ppl who had no say at all, being ordered around the place. N I tot this was a democratic country… well, we had to line up, girls one side, guys another. Then keep really quiet, listen to this huge man tell us about the rules n regulations b4 we entered the house of assembly (dewan rakyat). “no sleeping, no talking, no eating, no smoking, no big movements, no giving suggestions/ agreeing/ disagreeing with the parliament, jz follow”. In short, be like a zombie.
Finally, the fun part came. We walked in the gigantic hall in lines, n were seated rite at the opposite side of the speaker. On our left up front were the government workers n the MPs, on our left were the VIPs n the opposition. The hall had a high pointy ceiling with chun pillars, and the walls were designed with silver linings—very techy. Above the speaker’s seat were 13 pointy stuff, I think symbolizes the 13 states, n the whole setting was like a grand church. Four LCD screens were on the walls above the MPs n oppositions on both sides (so that’s where our tax goes to). Basically, most of the oppositions were present, and the MPs’ seats were half empty. When it was 10, the dude in white uniform brought in the watver thing which symbolizes authority, n the speaker came in with the other MPs n Oppositions. A bell was rung for like 3 mins! Then we had to bow, n wait for them to do their prayers. I wont wanna blog about the whole proceeding cuz it’ll b too boring, n also cuz I fell asleep on the very comfortable leather chair. Yan yan, my classmate kept nudging me cuz the guy said no sleeping… but the whole proceeding was so worthless! They talked about durians being turn into ‘sos chili durian’, Pakistani girls coming to kelantan, luring all the men there, n about some land thing… they changed topic so fast I dint even notice it… the only fun part was looking at fully grown men n women fight… childishly. They were literally screaming off their chairs, without even giving respect to the one speaking. The Chinese spoke in pasar BM, n the malay spoke in deep BM with ‘slang’. One of them was picking his nose, some were sleeping with elbow on the ‘akta-akta’ papers on the table. Some were extremely late, n one was looking at us in a ‘yam zin way’… haiz.. so I slept la. Not my fault.
At about 11.15am, we had to leave the meeting, so we got up, bowed, n left….so quietly, I think the MP who was sleeping din even notice. N guess wat… jz at that time, they were bringing up the AP issue! Cis, so gan jeong but we had to go. Anyways, I tot that was the end of the show, but no! The nice guy who was with us in the house of assembly said he’ll sneak us in the house of senate! Woohoo! No meetings were on, so the hall was so cold n eerie. It was a lot smaller compared to the hall b4, but this one looked chunkier, with all the thick black leather seats for the MPs n stuff. It had the rich malay feel, with thick red carpets n artistic malayish carvings on the golden yellow walls. The carpet was so thick my heels literally sank into it! n no 13 pointy stuff. The nice guy explained some senate stuff, n we left.
It was a priceless experience that every Malaysian should rightfully have. As a student, I saw the flaws n the beauty of the government. Some things r better left the way it is; n some has to b changed. Macam inilah jadi Malaysia~

to jump or not to jump...?

What is in the future?
It lies in ur own hands
If u choose 2 go 4 a de-tour,
The story never ends.

Some say we should leave it all 2 God,
N put all problems up on the shelf.
But then they jz simply 4got
That He helps those who help themselves.

There r times we hv 2 take the risk,
But I’m jz stuck in d past.
Sometimes we gotta b brave enuf 2 jump off the cliff,
That I’ll never know how long it’ll last.

Though I saw it coming,
N I cud hv put a stop to it,
But I jz allowed it to keep rolling
Without feeling regretful, not any bit.

Sometimes it jz seems all wrong,
Sometimes it feels so nice.
N we know it all along,
That the feeling won’t suffice.

How can I face the thoughts,
That keep rushing in my mind?
Looking at the thing u bought
Thinking maybe u’re jz too kind…

Those words “I’ll wait” Gives me more pressure,
It’s like I’m treating u like an unattended fart,
But I’m actually treating u as a treasure.
Someone very very close to my heart.

‘What on earth r u blogging?!’
That- must b wat u’re asking
Obviously I’m jz crapping
While my friends beside me sleeping.

My maths teacher jz goes on n on
This class never seems to end.
On my text book, my head shall rest upon
While everyone’s sleepy n that we cant pretend.

The end

college day

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged… not my fault. I was drowning in the assignments-due week. ‘m now on my way back home in ms sucy’s car. Yeap, I’m cool, blogging in a moving car! Muahaha. Ok, to catch up, I’ll briefly record wat happened lately.
Well, that INTI is a very patriotic institution, or shud I say it tries to make the students feel patriotic for the college. On the 1st of oct, INTI declared it COLLEGE DAY. So in conjunction to that, Joshua came over, heehee. He came over at fri nite. We literally spent the whole nite at block E ground floor, watching Kill Bill 1 & 2, n another perverted show, n chatted till we fell asleep on the benches. Wasn’t easy for the both of them (horny n shua), but I was pretty comfortable with the pillow n blanket, hahaha. Woke up when the sun was beaming in through the window, n maybe cuz I was a little hungry then. Feeling satisfied, the 3 of us packed n got ready for coll day. The road in front of the hostel blocks was flooded with ppl under the long stretch of canopy build-up. CF was selling spaghetti n garlic bread, n we tried most of the interesting junks then (hotdog with Waikiki mock tail from metropolitan coll, burnt mushroom soup from ultimate Frisbee club, candy floss , coconut drink, crêpe… ) after that we played some games from horny’s laptop n then left for kl. Basically our plan to have pizza for lunch failed, … they wanted to call pizza hut to ask them to dilliver us to them! Hahah, whacky plan…but overall I had a great time with my boobies.
There are a lot of unspoken words to explain the day… looking forward to days like these to come my way! Muahahah *sinister laugh –music fades off…

A closure

I was walking,
Walking on a path…
It started vaguely,
But the experience was ever so clear, so vivid
I came across amazing places, met interesting ppl…
I also came across trenches, obstacles n drains…
There were times when I ran/flew freely like a bird
N times when I fell hard n cried.

I was contented for a moment of time
Just following the path –high up the mountains n down valleys below
Until I saw
I saw the path was beginning to fade in front of me.

Being as patient as I am
I waited
All I wanted to know was how the road will turn out 2 b
As I walked on… I got confused
I was lost, cuz I couldn’t c the road no more.
I could only hear voices
Supporting n cheering for me
I knew I had to make a decision
Just that there weren’t any choices b4 me
I didn’t know where to go
So I stayed n waited sumore…

The wait was painful n long suffering
But I was grateful to hv ppl by my side
Pulling me through

N now
I finally see the road ahead.
A closure--
“u noe sumthin like when u're on a great journey n when de journey ends, it still holds de memory but there's no more road 2 journey on, sumthin like a closure”
So this is where it ends
Jz like that, so simple, so gentle
It ends…

living young

LIVE YOUNG CAMP—a weird name for a camp, but I joined it anyways. It was a camp organized by music club, peer interact something something club, n mind games club. It started off when horny n I was late for the opening. Was so relieved that we were in the same group. We wore the camp shirt on n sat obediently with the rest of the campers. It was in the sports hall, with about 50+ coll ppl there. I must say, I practically din know anyone else there, except for horny n zena from Frisbee club. Was a little worried that it’ll b a boring camp, but things started to go on pretty cool. The mc was sooooo funny, but no one seemed to b laughing at his jokes except for members of the lamerism club(me n horny). We had a counsellor from inti who spoke about pressure n stuff (weird start la) then we played some lame clapping games, got to know some new ppl in the temporary groups, learnt the cha-cha, went into groups by feeling around blind folded, then walked around inti in our groups, with a string as the connection to the other members tied to the fore finger, blindfolded, n forbidden to say a word through out the whole thing. Was so cool. Went back the sports hall with two blue fore fingers, n designed our group’s flag. {Synergy…. Synchronized energy} nice name eh?
Our cheer was even better! Our facilitator, jia ying, appointed me to b group leader, n the rest of the team insisted also, so I had no choice. I must say, our team was very chun, nicely distributed. So anywayz, we slept in sports hall, n I got up to the song “lets get it started ha! Lets get it started in here!” n they put the a/c to full blast!
With my teeth jittering n trying hard not to die on the 1st day of camp, I managed to pull myself together to have another awesome day. We had b-fast at bistro palma (yes, the one with the worst roti canai…) left inti at about… I dunno wat time (I always dun care much about the time n date during camps =þ) reached pd n we went straight to the tiny hall. Good thing it was air conditioned. Dr. Sia came to talk about enjoying coll life, n living it to the fullest. I was really motivated by it, as I too am like her, a B student, being looked down by some ppl, but I’m never gonna give up on living my life to the max. Had lunch, some group activities, and then we walked to the beach in the evening. And then- the REAL fun started. The team working games were sooooo torturous, so tiring, so muscle straining, but it was super fun! I’ve never been running that crazily in a long time. The beach was filled with fine sand n our face was hit with warm breezy wind from the sea. Yes, no kidding, I was in pd. It wasn’t the dirty n smelly beach u’re imagining.
Back in the apartment, we cleaned ourselves n had dinner. Then back to the tiny hall. More group activities, n more laughing. The mc, gilbert, was so darn funny. Plus the combo from the advisor, Andrew, wah! Can’t describe how much I laughed that nite. Later we were allowed to hv our own free time (fyi, it was about 12 plus then) so horny n I joined a group who wanted to go rebellious for food. We walked out, same rout to the beach. But this time we went further. We went into the nearest hotel, to ask them where to find food, it was of no use. So we ended up not eating, kicking back on the beach. It was so nice, the breeze, the cold sand, the dark sky, n sounds of waves…. Wah… wat an experience. I actually managed to encounter my fear of lightning that nite. I dunno y but the sky would constantly go really bright cuz of lightning, but no thunder, n no rain. So I sat there, n starred rite at the lightning for a few scary times, n then I got used to it! Woohooo! I’m cured from Astraphobia! Went back to room at about 4, n had to wake up at 7…
We did a pretty cool aerobic dance with the cha-cha steps we learnt b4. We packed after that, went back to the hall, n presented our group’s talent thingy. It was pretty good. The title was “life is ….” N we started of with “life is…dot dot dot dot DOTA!!!” but the end, our title was “life is ….what u make of it”. U wont get it unless u watch us act. Soon, we left the place, went to teluk something something for a group photo session, n then departed pd, back to inti.
Well, the purpose apparently was to make us live young, but then I felt a little older n mature in thinking. Hahah, their aim ‘fei gei’ d. I got to make a lot of new friends, learn more bout myself, hv a great break away from my course work, n spent some valuable time with my boobie. So who cares about the name of the camp? I benefited so much from it, that money cant buy! (I’m not gonna blog about the price of the camp, cuz I know horny will surely emphasize on it, hahaha)

dad's not-so-happy birthday

As a filial daughter of my awesome dad, I made it a point to go home jz for one nite to celebrate his bday… (Which reminds me… I 4got to ask him how old he actually was) went back to kl with ms sucy –my law lecturer, n mom came to pick me up from her place, then rushed to charmaine’s skool. I’ve never seen her drive so insanely… cuz we were kinda late n she din want charmaine to wait(also never seen her become gan jeong for me when I had to wait). Went home to wait for dad, then went to tasik permaisuri for dad’s bday dinner. The place was not so appetizing, though they claim to b a western restaurant. The food was… bad. The service was… weird. The ppl there were weirder. Anywayz, we hurriedly tried to finish our food, n left.
When we got to our car(my dad’s huge naza ria) was stuck. It was parked in front of a new supermarket, called “hero” and the lane was super narrow, with two car tightly parked beside it, n another two car parked at the other side of the road(illegally). No matter how hard my dad tried, it was impossible to get out from that place. So we waited, hoping that either one of the four cars would move away. One hour passed, n u cud literally see fumes coming out from my dad’s ears. It was so ironical that other cars were gradually moving away, except for those four cars. Even the manager of “hero” came out to try look for the owners. Then dad had to opt for the last resort… horn till the whole street would know that u own the naza ria. Another half n hour of horning went by, with my mom talking to the manager, n my sis & I doing lame stuff watching the workers close up “hero”. Well, dad’s last resort wasn’t really the last, the manager actually asked his workers to lift the car opposite to move it to another side, so my dad can move out. Woah, I totally din c that coming. Then finally we managed to get out of that place. The 1st impression was way way bad. Went home, immediately mcalled shua, chatted till 1 I think, then slept. I’m so gonna miss him when I’m gone. No one to cheer me up when I really nid one.
Well, I’ve got tests tmr, n I’ve not started abit of reivision. So till next time, peace out~

never too late in serving God

It was a very cosy Sunday morning, n as I was still deep asleep in bed, rebecca’s call woke me up. “jez lets walk to the bus stop together.”
“*yawn* okey… when?”
“errr… now? We’re supposed to b there at 8”
7.55am was wat I saw on my alarm clock. Shoot!
Got dressed. N thank God I dint miss the bus—it missed us…haha… everyone waited at the bus stop till 9, but we managed to get ourselves to church on time. The tiny little Banting church (Grace Assembly) was still quite empty until we (inti, nilai n another uni’s students) filled up most of the seats. It was friendship Sunday n guess who’s the guest…ALTERED FREQUENCY!!! They were seated humbly at the side of the hall. We had an awesome worship! Felt so good jumping while praising the Lord, and having fun in His presence. The service was very casual…no, very homely. Felt like I was in the house of God, glorifying him with my bros n sis in Christ. The lead singer, Andy, gave a short sharing on our duties as God’s children, and how Moses dealt with God’s plans for him. It reminded me that no matter how bz I am or will be, I shud still serve God in any way I can. As long as there is a heart of serving and the anticipation of letting ‘His will be done’. The alter call was great! The food was great! The ppl there were great! I bought their original cd (I actually hv a burnt one, but I feel awfully guilty owning one) n got their signatures. They r really cool ppl who hv their own lives, n yet whole heartedly serve God out of their bz schedule in their carrier. They were nominated as top 5 best English album...something like that… in AIM!!! Chun leh? And their song ‘exalt’ was in Hitz.fm’s chart… and another song was in xfresh fm… cant really remember exactly but I really admire wat they’ve done for Christ. Hormat!
So I pray that watever I do, I’ll try my best to serve God with watever talent He gave me, to glorify his name n not mine.

big big girl

Staying back in campus makes me feel like a grown girl…heehee, dunno y. well, maybe it’s like I get to do wat I wanna do without the nagging of 2 control freaks, aka parents, asking me to stay home n study… hahah, nola, they’re not that bad, jz that I’m a little restricted with certain things back at home. But over here, I’m freeeeee. Anyhow, I said I feel like a grown girl cuz I know how to control myself d. kinda…. I look at things comparing it with opportunity costs. In econs terms opportunity cost is the best alternative given up by a decision to do something else. Eg: The YMCA(yam cha) chances when ppl invite me to go, I place it next to the only time I hv left for sleep. Then I compare. Sleep has more value, so then my opportunity cost will b fellowshipping with me friends. Get? And so, must say, I’ve given up thousands of opportunities, n yet hv gained something more valuable.
Last evening after class, I went for my 2nd time to chempaka’s pasar malam with iris n lovena. It was quite fun. It’s always fun being with them. Lovena’s friend sent us there, and we ate sooo much! Soya bean, uncle bob’s chicken, satay, the ‘lok lok’-food u dip in hot boiling soup then u eat with sweet sauce, limau ais, chou kuey teow, chhese cake, tau fu fah… came back around 7.30pm n I felt so sleepy, so I slept till I was waken up by horny’s call for dinner. Though I din feel like eatin(after eating so much in pm) I jz went anyway cuz if I continued sleeping I would’ve waken up the next morning. Met horny, Johnny, joven, johnnathan, hin long etc in the basketball court. Sat there n watched some really cool games of bball. I always get really fascinated with the agility in guys who play bball. So yau ying…. Other than watching n waiting, I played with iris’ game boy advance (sponge bob square pants) n I was gggggoooooooddddd~~ hahah. I also played with my oil-blotter taking it as a Frisbee, tossing it back n forth with horny (like flying cards but with really accurate aiming), n I think we’re getting better, hehehe. Well, I sat on the bball court steps till I dunno wat time, accompanied horny for his dinner, had a nice chat then went back to sleep.
Next morning, got up reeaaaal early to jog! Yeap, no kidding. Horny n I jogged around melati for 2 rounds I think, then had the worst roti canai ever in bistro palma. The jog was refreshing. Haha, the opportunities of studying in an ulu place away from the smoke n congestion. Anyhow, with my low stamina, horny had to walk with me instead of jog after a while hahah… went back to hostel, bathe, slept, then did my work.
At noon, hin long took horny, Rebecca(ex roomie) n I out for lunch. Good thing nasi kandar shop was not open (I dun quite like the food there). So we ate in chempaka, then Amanda(cousin in aussie) called me! Though we cud communicate thru the net but hearing her voice n dai yee’s voice makes me even more excited on going there.
Came back hostel, did my work, slept sumore, n had dinner. I wasn’t feeling so good then but horny treated me with a lot of energy bars n a movie over dinner. I felt a lot better then. Hahah. We watched ‘serving sara’ with his laptop in block E with CTS. Then we played some all-time-fav battle ship game! Those were the days when I was young, blasting battle ships on my video game…
N so, see how much I’ve grown?! Hahah, big girls nid to have some fun sometimes, so screw the idea of being dead serious with all the major decisions n stuff (there r times for those), but for now, just relax n enjoy the existence of life n friends that came with it! Peace out

the unknown truth

Holding on to tears inside,
I’m trying not to cry.
Knowing there’s no place to hide,
But to just let time pass by.

Expecting it to last forever,
I kept my spirits high.
Now I know that I’m not so clever,
To keep forgiving and let things go by.

Some tell me not to jump to conclusions,
Some said “don’t let it distract you”,
But how can I find satisfaction,
If I don’t find out the truth?

What if I finally know it’s true,
How would I react?
I mite be down and blue
For experiencing the great impact.

Even if what i think is wrong,
And it was all a misunderstanding,
I already find that I don’t belong
To the one who kept me waiting.

I feel like I’ve been lied to and cheated
And gently being torn into pieces,
It is as if I’ve been defeated
By reality that has been so heartless…

*btw, the best song for this mood is "Hei Se You Muo" by Jay Chou

extraordianary things in an ordinary day

Waking up at 7 jz to b punctual for 8 am class is already torturing enuf for me… consider staying in class till 6 in the evening when ur mind is already all set for dinner or still in bed. Today, I had to bear with my maths lecturer with his funny looking grin up will six, rush back to room n get ready for PARTAY baybeh! It was a cf committee bbq thingy in johnny’s hse (though I’m already out of the committee but I was still invited, nyeheh) his hse was homely n cooling, heehee, but the best word to describe it is: new. The funny thing was I din c any bbq pit outside his hse, or any signs of food… b4 I could start panicking, I found out that the party was upstairs, at the veranda. It was a pretty large space with a gas-bbq-cooker. Really chun. We took turns to cook n I started to back off from the stove when Carmen told me my contacts may melt in my eyes if I was near the heat. After makan-ing, we played the most creative game I’ve ever experienced. We split ourselves into 2 teams: the lefties n the normal human beings, hahaha. Then each team was given lots of chewing gum, and toothpicks. After 10 mins of chewing, we had to form some creative designs on a paper plate using the chewed gum with toothpick (no hands) it was gross at the start but it ended up very amusing, with all our work of art+ saliva+ bits of toothpick… the normal humans won after judged by johnny’s little sis, annie. Then we had more fun downstairs with the ‘pig’ game n a few rounds of mafia. We left the place at about 11.45pm. hin long drove me to lovena’s hse (planned to sta over at her place to teach her some maths) b4 we reach her hse, kim beng was asking me stuff, so I din pay attention o the road, n hin long dint know the way so when I saw that he was ‘going to’ make the wrong turn, I immediately said “turn here!” then out of no where, a waja came so close to his car, almost clashing with it! Good thing his reaction was fast enuf to avoid n get into the rite turning. Then that waja stoped beside hin loong’s car. With windows down n blasting techno music, the guy talked rudely with hin long with a bat (the steering lock thingy) in his hand. Woah, it was so scary man…. Actually, it was party the waja driver’s fault for not turning on the front light, that’s y we din c them coming. After the creepy experience, I went into lovena’s hse, which was filled with cigerrate smoke smell. Well, it wasn’t so bad when in her room, so I was all the time inside, hiding. Helped her abit in maths, till I was soooo tired, and i finally did something that i do normally--sleep.

ultimate mosquitoe technique

The modern mosquitoes now a days hv somehow upgraded their skills on being a pest. Staying on the ground floor gives me the privilege to know how. Mosquitoes of the current generation not only aim to suck my blood when I’m not looking n cause me to itch like mad after that, they also hv a better purpose in living: to annoy me to the max b4 they kamikaze(fly real slow in front of me so that I can exterminate them). Now I’m not talking about the Foo-Pak! Technique, it’s jz simply the “Killing it Softly with my Palm” way, n I managed to execute four mosquitoes in half an hour, n still counting. It’s a good way to train my reflexes though, says horny. Like the ultimate way to spend ur time in the room.
Speaking of ultimate, I jz joined the Ultimate Frisbee Club! Now now, stop laughing n read on will u?! I realized how dead I was for the pass 2 sems in terms of outdoor activities, so since angela was trying to recruit more ppl to this club, I sort of gave it a try. I jz came back from the 1st training n I find it pretty interesting. An ULTIMATE game was created with jz a simple plate and 14 ppl of 2 teams. Though it was hard to get the hang in ‘flipping’ the plate …to the right person, the seniours there said they took about a few weeks to nicely throw the Frisbee (correctly). After getting bored of tossing the plate back n forth with Ee Lin and getting blisters on my middle finger, I stepped aside to watch the existing member play a real game of ultimate Frisbee.
After the game, I had dinner with them, met more ppl from other courses. I found out that most of them initially joined the club for other hidden motives (u know...), then later they started to get real good with the game so now their really into it. Well, I’m glad I’m in a club n that I hv the chance to meet ppl n do various types of activities n not b deprived in my own corner n let my college life slowly fade away. Bottom line—I’m enjoying myself =)

ifyouknowwutimean

One week jz passes in a blink of an eye, with no warning at all, reality jz snaps at u when u’re standing rite at the edge. This weekend was rather horrible for me, getting news of the unexpected. However, I’ve more than ready to face this new week ahead of me. My com now is close to ntg esp this time when the whole server in campus is down. No sound driver, my document constantly hang, n cant setup a lot of important progs.
Well, there were some stuff that I wanted to blog about but I jz dun hv the mood to rite now…. Feeling depressed n disturbed…ifyouknowwutimean

ggooooorrrgeous mate!

Sometimes, its pretty hard to describe ur day with jz one word, cuz it all jz has it’s own description for every situation. I went to my sis’ skool today, jz for a look c, n to get out of the house before I go insane. As I walked beside my sis n behind my mom along the aisle, eyes jz looked out of the classrooms, n it felt so weird. Some malay boys were like doing the squeeking sound as if they’ve never seen an outsider walking along that lane before. I ignored them by talking to my sis, asking her lame questions like ‘what’s 2 x 786?’ and ‘how do spell jay chow? Chau? Chou? Chao?’ after confusing her for a min, she left me alone n went to her friends, thinking I’ve gone nuts. So I stood there waiting for my mom, n these form 5 boys were like calling out “ah moi! Datang tukar skolah ke? Atau cik nak cari siape?” I was hoping that they were talking to another ah moi, but then I realized I was the only one standing there, I jz shook my head n ignored them. Then they asked more stuff like ‘umur berapa? Skolah mana? Telefon nombor apa?’ sheesh! Mom! Where the heck r u?! my sis wasn’t in sight, so I went to the canteen for cover. With my mp3 headphone on, n my holiday reading covering my face, I tried to show that I wasn’t entertaining their nuisance.
Left her skool n went to idp in jalan ampang. Dad walked over from his office to b with us. Though he wasn’t being very supportive in all my uni planning, but this time, it was so nice of him to jz come along. I know it isn’t easy for him to come up with that lump some of money for my education, wish I cud do something to help (but then I’m not smart enuf to get a scholarship, so I’ll hv to fully depend on dad). This lady, angeline assisted me in all the application stuff, n I chose communication media and culture as my 1st preference, communication and media management 2nd, and professional and creative media 3rd. I’ve no idea what I’ve gotten myself into, but it sounds like a very interesting thing to do. I surfed the site about the subjects and it’s mainly on publishing, editing blah blah. Other than these stuff, I seriously dunno what else can I do. Well, I hope that’s what God wants me to do or else it’ll be a waste of time and money. Now all I gotta do is wait for a month n receive my offer letter, then get my visa and medical checkup done, n I’ll b off to the land down under! I may be a little scared, but my excitement in going to another country to study covers it all. Wish me the best ya? Till next blog, c ya mate!

church camp

With my back pack over my shoulders, n sunglasses on my nose, I stood in front of the church lobby, wondering what n the world hv I gotten myself into. I’m about to join a camp for goodness sake! Yet I wasn’t at all excited. Maybe coz I knew I would b going alone with nothing to be excited about. Only loh pui yee n I were from the English youth, the others (young ppl) were either young adults or from the Chinese youth. I always look forward to camps, leaving home n enjoying myself with new found, clickable friends. Just not this one. Dad gv me a sound scolding b4 allowing me to come for this camp, saying that I’m not spending enuf time on my skool work n stuff. I was also ordered to b mama’s temporary ‘slave’ for the entire camp duration, which I dun mind that, its jz that they should hv trusted me better from the start.
I went on the bus, walked straight to the back with yin yee n pui yee. They were merely the only ppl who I can hang out with, the rest are jz kids, or working adults, n not to mention, the elderly-s. I think there r more senior citizen than the adults n kids put together. I don’t mind them honestly, jz that they filled the place with strong ‘fong yau’ smell, which makes me feel dizzy. Throughout the whole journey, yin yee told me her whole few-weeks-back-drama, which I found it pretty interesting. Arrived melacca water city resort, still not in the enthusiastic mood, but smiled anyway. The place was cool, nicely designed with a man made lake rite in the middle n a hanging bridge across it. The activities available were also funjoyable, just that I din hv money n no one was appropriate enuf to go play with me. I helped mama carry her stuff to her room b4 I went to mine. I shared a room with lisun (gf of camp commander). I also shared an apartment with the wong family n mun yee’s friend Eleonor from England. Thought they wud b of good company but they were mostly out to melacca city n did not fully participated in the activities. So I sticked close to lisun, n prayed that I’d hv fun. Well, God was great as always, I did hv fun (if I look at the brighter side, that is).
The speaker was Dr. yee who was a researcher n lecturer in Theology. For a smart man like he, he’s very sociable, n said I looked like zhang zi yi. Even ps chan agreed. Haha, anywayz, his preaching was rather profound n not easily understood, however we got used to it after a few sessions of him repeating the word ‘Eros’ which form the word erotic. (song os songs 4:1) I din know that the bible was sooooo precise on certain things n it totally blew me away!
After sessions, we were separated into diff groups, n I landed in the most “cham” group. Our leader took off the next day to go golfing n some had children to care for, some din even know they were from our team, so the remainders who actually ‘wants’ to participate joined other groups. N the funny thing was, my group won 1st runner up in overall group points, haha. Maybe it was because we were given the same points as the groups that we participated in (telematch n talent performance). The 1st nite I managed to contact chee meng who came with his seniors to jz come hv a look c, n to meet up with me. Its been such a long time since I saw him n I wish he could stay n accompany me throughout the whole camp, but he had classes the next day. Anyhow, we had a good chat b4 I retreated to my apartment where Jason n Jerome came over to hv a chat with the former English youths (yin yee, loh pui yee, wong phui yee, mun yee, lisun, me). We played 2 rounds of chordai dee n I won twice.
Had a morning devotion with uncle Denise leading. Was rather funny, looking at how his daughters talked to him. Went for 2nd session, lunch, skipped 3rd session, helped out a little in the telematch preparation, then had a great time during the telematch. This girl called June was in my team n she stuck close to me. We really had fun looking at aunty wai ying flow flour as it stuck to her face, passing bananas with our knees, eating chili padi, garlic, onion, bitter gods, ginger…, running around with 2 old ppl complaining of their old age. Everytime I met /helped an old person, I gotta address myself as ho yoke lan’s granddaughter, or else they wouldn’t even remember u. after dinner, we had this talent nite thingy where each group had to come up with a sketch to sell a certain product. I was sooo funny looking at old ppl do the unthinkable! later that nite, we had a good game of cluedo. I almost won….almost! When Jason finally came, most of them were already sleepy, so the remaining games weren’t as challenging.
I woke up late on the last day, missed morning devotion, cuz I slept really late the nite b4. Dragged myself for breakfast n the final session. Went back feeling relieved that the whole camp is over. I finally could get back to my own world. But, I got to get close with June, n some old ppl who I never talk to even when I see them in church. Didn’t regret going for this camp just that it’s a pity that I wasn’t having fun WITH the ones that I usually hv fun with.
Overall, I found this year’s church camp very new. It was like I was going to another church’s camp n not my own. N most of them spoke in Chinese, n it really reminded me how sucky my Chinese is. There are a lot of thing I learnt from this camp, that I wish I had the time to blog it but sorry—no time.

A tribute to my lost pix....

Lets pause for a moment of silence for my pc, which went thru trials and tribulations, thru thick n thin, thru the good n bad times with me, etc etc. as u shut up in condolence for my com, lemme retell the story of the downfall of my com.. it started off a few weeks ago when the Microsoft office went nuts. Everytime I clicked on the m.words, my com will auto restart, causing me to not save the important stuff I was doing halfway. Liz will know how tedious work became to me as our lecturers began to warn us on late submitted work. I had to re-do some essays, crack up some new ideas on my legal assignment n re-do the youth schedule. Thx liz for helping me print those stuff, n thx horny for ur laptop. Soon, the term break came n I tot it would b a good time to give my com a little break, but then I overestimated its capability in retaliating from that weird sickness, n continued using it when I brought it home.
On wed*** as shua tried to send photos to my com from his hp, the blue screen of doom came for the 1st time. “oh cool, it now shuts down my com instead of restarting it, so if I wanna turn off my pc, I jz double click Microsoft words” I happily commented. Soon I knew, it was the worst sign any computer can take. Everyone’s reply was “hor~~~ gotta format d…” when I told them about my com’s condition. Took it to justine’s hse last fri nite. Goh goh(Sebastian), our family’s computer doctor was available then. He was on high demand as clemence’s com needed some help too. Goh goh showed me the ‘I’m-sorry-i-cant-save-ur-beloved’ look b4 he did whatever he had to do to make my com work again.
Things weren’t so bad with my cousins around to cheer me up. Mandy was ever ready with her lame IQ questions, Theresa comforted me by relating her reformatting story, Justine supported me by offering her peak online time to get my com fixed, ah boy (clemence) gave me chocolates, n my sis did good in keeping quiet. All my pictures… assignments, collections, all gone. Looking at the screen showing 25%, 27%, 30%... was painful for me n boring for the rest so we all watched house of fury in the hall. That surely did make me smile, no…, laugh.
Finally, it was done, my entire C drive gone. Leaving me with only vague memories of my work, n most importantly, my pictures that I took. Those pix from mabul-sipadan with brats, smktd pix, family pix during CNYs n new years, pix from church, prom, college wacky moments, pix for self-admiration…. Feeling so sad rite now… haih…now I seriously know how horny felt when he lost his hp with pix inside.
Well, all I can do now is to b ever ready with my digi cam n start taking nicer pix, as I anticipate greater times to come. And also to b smarter in managing my stuff in my com, so that none of this catastrophe can happen again