sleepy blog

thats me on top of Mengler hill, overlooking the whole of Barossa Valley-- haven for wine lovers...

yo ppl!!! i'm now in my new hse n room ( for the next 3 yrs), feeling tired after a whole day of touring the new place.
went sydney for 4 days, had a good spin there(will blog bout it another day). now i'm parked in adelaide, where its much quieter than any other place i can find. everythings fine, very happy n excited about living in australia!.... jz that i'm already feeling cold in summer, n my web cam is not working =(
well, i took some pix which i'd like to share, so i shud b putting them in multiply another time.
i cant blog rite.... cuz i'm too sleepy. till next time.
*smile fer jez =)

shared pix

a little something something i always wanted to share
memories of my life in Inti Nilai
enjoy

digging own grave

Leaving is something that’s so hard to do. I’m going thru something that’s harder than that. Not only I have to leave the people who mean so much to me, I hv to go thru the hassle to make sure everything’s done so that I can leave msia… it’s like digging ur own grave hole.
I’ve been pretty bz with the preparations and stuff, till I’ve no time for a lot of things. Plus! There were miscommunications here and there, getting myself in heaps of migraines. I thought Idp shud b of great help in helping me dig my grave, mana tau they were slower then me in getting my uni info for enrolment! I got my student ID from my dai yee last week and enrolled for my classes on the same day… and Idp jz sent me an email regarding my ID today… aduh…
Well, I had to go thru a medical check up for Australian high commission to approve me of my student visa. Went to Idp on a Monday to collect the medi cert, but the system was down, so had to go back the next day. So I went on the Tuesday, got the cert, did the medi checkup but something went wrong, n I had to get back on a thurs! for 3 days I had to wake up at 6am, follow my dad to his office, wait for him to finish his morning briefing, then he’ll help me with all those stuff. Felt bad for him, cuz it was kinda distracting. But then I hv a super dad! So he da best!!! Oh ya, I also discovered something pretty cool. I met a few Indian nurses during that few days, n I realized most of them cud speak better Cantonese than me. Geng man! Never think they don’t understand u n go talking bad about them in Cantonese in front of them. It aint gonna b a good site after that…
Another thing that I was worrying that time was whether the report wud b sent to aus high com in time to produce me a visa b4 the 6th. Idp said their record of the fastest visa approval was in 3 days, but praise God, I got mine in a day!!! Wohhoo… shua, ur prayers aren’t working now, muahahah…
Ok, so the paper work and the mah fan miscellaneous procedures done—now for the hardest part…. To pack!!!! Cant stuff everything in that little luggage of mine. Well, other than a super dad, I also hv a super mom who was a tour leader in her younger days, so she’s a pro in packing, so I’ll leave that to her.
I’m so gonna miss my family. Mom, dad, n my little sis. I’m gonna miss the way she hugs me every time I come home from nilai. Now I only get to hv that hug once a year, or maybe longer.
Going to further my studies in Australia is a darn terrific opportunity for me, but I’ll never forget about the sacrifices my parents did for me. Their time, energy, and MONEY! It ain’t cheap, n that gives me a lot of pressure. A LOT! My dad said he dun mind if I get aussie-fied when I come back, but if I fail in my studies, I’m gonna b crucified! And my mom also reminded me not to get in a relationship there, ‘it’s gonna ruin ur life!’ says she.
On the whole, I’m not scared about studying abroad. If u know me well enuf, u shud know better. Its jz the pressure that drives me off a little sometimes. But knowing that I’m supported, even internationally, I’ll still stay sane all the time.
So miss me people! Miss me… cuz everyone I know here in msia will definitely b missed by miss Jezamine Chan Yee Ai! *muax*

fallacious chinese new year

Happy Chinese New Year,
We are going to Australia,
But then we’ll still be here,
To celebrate together.
Gong Xi, Gong Xi, Gong Xi Ni~
(composed by Charmaine and I)

Chinese new year is here, KL is super hot, traffic jams everywhere, people all dressed in red… the outlook is still the same as every single year, but does it feel like cny? No… the atmosphere is not here at all. I’m not as excited about collecting ang pows as the years b4. Not as eager as I used to about wearing my new year clothes. I’m not as thrilled as last time when I witness any lion dance or at fireworks… how come?
Now everyone is talking about how fake this cny is, how stingy that lady is, how bad the food is, how much that dude drank from mama(granma)’s house… its more like gossip to me. I never knew our family chats were about hearsays and rumours.. nothing that’s fun, joyful, and exciting. What has the world changed into? i jz hope I was once again the naïve little girl who sat politely beside my father, holding on to my ang pow, in my new dress, smiling away in front of the guests who came visit. But its all not that way. All the kids will be wrecking the front porch, the senior ones playing mah jong at the dinning hall, some adults emptying cartons of beers as they talk loudly about boring stuff and politics, another gang of adults playing fifa world cup with the PS, and we (the bored n lethargic teenagers) sitting hopelessly in front of the tv, looking at the graphics (cant hear anything by then), knowing that we’re gonna get very few ang pows today. Sad rite? Last time, on lin chor yat (1st day of cny)I would be so bz visiting relatives with my cousins and all, but this time, I was so free till I cud even go out mamak with my ex-church friends!!! Though I had a super fun time there with them, but I’m jz so disheartened having the feeling that I’m not in the midst of cny celebration….
Well, maybe I exaggerated, but that’s what I think it is. Yes we had a fun time during reunion dinner, as we all sat there and talked about stuff that could make us tear after laughing too hard, jz that I feel when 1st day of cny comes, everyone has to put up a fake smile, and greet the parsimonious visitors. Its all so commercialized now… no kick…
Anywayz, cant complain much… ppl change, situations change. I cant say that I’m all anti this commercializing cny n stuff, jz that the true meaning of cny is unfelt this year.
I wonder if next year would be worst or anyhow different from this year’s.
Hopefully u had a great cny celebration.

Gong Hey Fatt Choy peeps!!!

take me home~ country roads~

With my huge yellow backpack over my tiny body, and my black bag with my sleeping bag slung over my shoulder, I stood there at the inti bus stop with awe for the 1st time. It was like in the movies, where the backdrop was the humming bus with ppl boarding and unboarding it, n I was the only one stagnant, standing there macam sangat gaya punya…. Okok, cut the crap, this would b my last time coming down here from a bus, not until for a long long time, that’s y so emotional.
I came back to inti cuz I needed to withdraw from coll to get deposit and to sell off my books (that’s the official reason y I’m back) the other reason is cuz I super miss this place!!! Imagine feeling homesick at home. Hehe.
Well, so far its fun being back. I’m like walking the isle in academic block rushing to meet my friend, and not to class. Everyone’s bz with assignments, lectures, projects, n I’m not. That’s the fun part, haha! But then, now I find it’s getting boring. No one to play with at this time of the nite. Everyone is either doing their class work, or attending meetings, which I cant go kacau. But! I’ll b well entertained later, mamak time!!
I came back at the rite time when ICF had the opening ydy. Saw everyone there! Even got to finally meet lizzie’s bro. he looks and even acts like liz. Haha… went mamaking at al-salam, drove ps vic’s car back to hostel block. The guys were panicky at 1st, but later they agreed that girl drivers are not all bad. Watched independence day with horny at block e. the most unforgettable yet super missable times are watching movies there being bitten by mosquitoes till late at nite.
This morning I had breakfast with tse wen, vidz, and suli. After spending time with them for about 5 mins, u can start talking like them d… its really contagious. Reminds me of the 1st sem when I used to hang out with them (suli wasn’t here yet). Then for the whole afternoon, I’ve been walking all over inti, meeting up with ms sucy (law lecturer), ms jun(English lecturer), getting withdrawal stuff done, meeting with horny’s classmates, went to my ex roomie’s friend’s room (jz bcuz I was so hot after walking up and down the place- finally got to know more about her, I used to jz smile at her when I see her). Soon, I gave up on walking, so I came back to the room (stayed illegally in clara’s room- better choice than choosing angela’s room which I gotta sleep n the floor, here got bed, hehe) after resting, I went out for dinner with horny, had to eat fast n talk with food in mouth. I din get to play Frisbee ….was the sad thing, but got to spend more time with my makan partner, compensated for it. Now I’m in the room, waiting for the time to come so I can go out and enjoy my last mamak session in inti for this year with my ex classmates. I got so many new news during the stay here... Yew keong’s da secretary of ICF, irwing is actually my age n is the president of ICF, angela is in a relationship, xiao tong changed course, siva, Justin n his gf n xiou tong… n a lot more r going to Adelaide too, but not this year. So happy, at least I get to see some familiar faces from Malaysia in my 2nd n 3rd year. Hehe…
Ok, time to get out of room. Going home tmr, am so gonna miss this place all over again. I’m not gonna waste anymore time in the room. Out~

dun mess with time

Sometimes I jz find it so amazing how time plays with our consciousness. I had a chance to meet up with the far gone jia wei, and the long lost heidi. And also once again jen chieh too, for old time’s sake… and I realized how the year has jz pass me by.
We met up in midvalley, where I’d shiver every time I hear the name. Been going there like I work there or something. Anyways, it’s not the place that matters. Picked jia wei up, saw her for the 1st time for one whole year. Yes, she has grown a little fleshy and horizontally prosperous, but its wat they feed her there in Germany that gave her the obvious sign saying “I jz came back from the land of cheese and bread”
Anywayz, met up with heidi soon, went to Kim Gary for lunch. We weren’t satisfied. Actually, it was jia wei who wasn’t satisfied. Mau makan lagi… anyhow, we stopped her, till jen chieh came. She came with her friend who was very friendly. Jia wei ended up eating their food. We chatted and chatted and chatted, till we decided to catch a movie.
Watched moonlight in Tokyo, which was jz so so. I find the storyline pretty shaky, and leon lai is super old d (he is super suitable for this show—he’s a gig) so later, we walked around, basically jz enjoying each other’s company.
Heidi left at 5.30, saw auntie jenny who’s still as radiant as before. Then we went to All Star, played fuss ball, the 4 of us. Then we jz sat, drank and chatted sumore. Well, jen and her friend lives a whole new different life compared to us, and they truly portray the typical girls from damansara (memang got look wan, hehe) but wat the heck, we still can chat, so who cares about the different lifestyle we have.
Soon, I followed wei back home, fiddled with her stuff abit then mandi. Saw that her bro and sis are all grown up. Its like “aiyo, dai goh lui/zhai loh….” And I feel so old. One year only mah, wat on earth has happened on this side of the planet?! After dinner (and sometime later) gary came over to pick us up for mamak. Last time he used to be senior goh goh. Now like, “yo dude! Apa macam?” so different.
Coincidentally, I saw terry berry at the mamak place. He said I MUST go to the paradise church when in Adelaide, he said he’ll let them know, and they’ll b expecting me soon. Haha, he’s still as funny as ever. Still with the cap and goatee.
After mamak, went home(jia wei’s bungalow), and ‘prepared’ for bed. Chatted till we cant move no more. I think we slept at 5am… telling each other wat one year has done to us. She jz had sooooo many experiences in germany, and yet she still came back as jia wei, the jia wei.
Well, things come and things go, yet people somehow stay the same. Time really is a super chun invention. Eh no… creation. I’m really looking forward to the experiences that I’ll hv this year. Whatever it is, “come la! Me no scared! =p”

stupid act of mine

I take back what I said on the previous blog. It wasn’t drumline that made my day happening, it was my stupid act that wrecked my whole life…. Well, not exactly, but for now… it IS that bad.
I was bored at home, so my mom said she’s going to the saloon, so I said, cool I wanna go too. So I went, and without saying my prayers 1st, I was there in front of the huge mirror and a pair of snipping scissors ready to attack. Then my mom said something, and snip! There it went… my hair!!! I said I want a slight fringe, not the short one, the long one. But she didn’t seem to catch that, and she snipped of my fringe and made it super short.
I yelped, she jerked. Then my mom came n said, ok ok, not so short, take the longer ones to overlap it. What the…?! So I had short ones, and long ones, and I look like miss-punk from planet no-fashion.
But of course, I cant b so rude and show her the face, so I jz smiled and backed up, “hehe… thx, but I think that’s enuf…” then I sat quietly at the side, trying to make it less drastic.
The worst part is… I have to sing on stage today (for YF), go out with jia wei and heidi on Monday, go idp, and get back to inti…. I’m gonna b hiding behind every object. I know I sound vain and stuff, but its really bad.
Here’s a pic of me. I covered most of the short part, so when u look at it, u’ll say “ok what~~” it’s not ok fyi. I’m suicidal now… haha, jkjk.

eh, i look a little bit like sook mun from here rite? hehehe
watever it is... i'm still smilling... =/

blogedy blog blog...

“Only in the dark, when I can seem to see” Juwita Suwito. Only when u’re in the dark, u can see the light. Only when u’re bored, then u’ll start to realize how bz u were b4. I’ve been stuck at home for 2 days. With no purpose for the day. I try to wake up late, so that the hours of waiting for the next day to come can b cut short. I try to eat slow, bathe slow, move slow. But it aint working. I’m still as bored as b4.
I cant blog about anything else cuz so far ntg much happened… really… the only thing that cheered me up, was horny telling me something super funny yester nite. And today… watching drumline for the second time seemed to b the most happening thing!
Well, I slept for more than 10 hours ydy, excluding the 3 hour afternoon siesta. That’s some pretty hefty skill I got there… anywayz… I think I shud go down n see wat astro can do to me again. Or maybe I shud dig out the dust-covered PS1 n give myself some entertainment.
Ok… I need some water… been singing my head off the whole afternoon. I think I can beat the drilling noise of the machine from the neighbors who’re expanding their kingdom.
Till next time… *pout >o<

Watch out for my watch!

I was watch-less for a while, which made me feel uneasy. Not because I can’t tell the time by jz lifting my arm a little, n glancing down at the little thing with moving hands; but because of something else too.
Well, I know it sounds pretty lame, but then I find it extremely true. U know when u face some awkward situations and u’re dying to get out of it? Like some old auntie comes up to u and tells u the prices of kangkung and any vege, then relates it to the wheather then to the new neighbour…. No offence but she jz found the wrong person to talk to. So that’s wat u cal an awkward sit. Cant get out of it when she jz goes on n on n on….? Something can save u! ur watch! Jz glance at it a few times, look like u need to pee, then say ‘sorry, I’ve something urgent to do, see ya!’ then u slide away, never to be seen again by her on the same day.
Useful rite? Imagine I was without my weapon/ armor for sometime (spoilt the big white one in camp, and broke the new one when I was tugging around with my sis) I felt naked. Like I lost a limb. Haha, well, not that bad, but it was bad when I got myself in a similar situation as above.
Anyways, this is a pic of sue anne, holding my fav watch (huge enuf to b seen far far away). Notice the water level at 9-3.


This watch has valuable memories to it. I’ll store it up some where, jz for keeps sake.
Jez signing off *with a new watch, hehe

Mind your Ps n Qs

I was sitting there, lifeless. The repetition of “ding* enam kosong dua empat, kaunter lapan belas” (with other numbers, so on, so fourth) was ringing in my head. My eyelids heavy, butt glued to the chair, body slanting sideways towards my sister. Parents complaining over the system. The guy behind me cursing Manchester, kids in front were testing my patience by making funny noises. It wasn’t a pretty site…
I had to get out of this country. So were the people there who had the energy to sit straight in a place like that, at 7.55am.
I know, I know… everyone can do that ma… but not me. I’ve been having a good break since I finished SAM, n I’m not used to getting up at 6am jz to get to this horrible place to sign something then go home.
Well, I’m talking about the immigration department in damansara. Had to renew my expired passport, so did my mom n sis. Dad had to come along cuz he knew the procedures n he needed to sign Charmaine’s form.
As I was saying, I sat there motionless waiting for the lady to *ding my number, then some complications occurred. They stamped something wrong on my mom’s receipt, so she had to go to another counter, but they only told us when the other counter’s number was really far away ahead… so dad got mad- not good. The lady at the counter wasn’t kind-not good, she scolded them for not reading the receipt carefully. Mom was blur, sis was oblivious, I was still sitting there, hoping that they won’t start up a fight over there. Everyone who sat there had their eyes glued on us. I went towards the counter to feel the heat. With her heavy Malay slang, she raised her voice, waving the receipt in her hand, and her second chin almost slipped out from her tudung.
Clearly it was everyone’s fault for being so careless, but they shouldn’t make a scene out of it! I felt so humiliated. Good thing I wore my black shirt, n not paint myself in any given bright color… “wee wang wang, u can’t see me…”
Anywayz, I’m glad it’s all over, n I can now get out of this country legally. I think we shud hv more manners in our daily lives. Mind your Ps n Qs. Even the prime minister is getting down on his knees to beg everyone to behave. Maybe this is jz a Malaysian culture. When something goes wrong, u point ur finger at anyone but urself, then make some huge exclamation marks then leave with ur nose held high, as if u saved the day. I’m not gonna bring that attitude with me to Australia. I wont know wat their culture is, but I hope its not like this.
To end, I better make things clear. I’m not saying that I’m all courteous n charming, n I dun mean to pin point on anyone, its jz something to ponder upon. Maybe I shud start saying my thank you’s n my good day’s…
So, thank you for reading, and have a nice day! *wide smile with white clean teeth, heehee

long lost blog-- found!

my desktop was down for moore than a month now, n i jz got it fixed today (very thankful for jiin dong's help). found some pretty cool hidden stuff in it, including this blog that i saved n did not post:

Sometimes when u step into a higher level in life n suddenly u had the chance to catch a glimpse of ur old times… it’s always the floods of memories that start making u feel that u’re now so far away from it n theres nothing u can do to make u live that life again. Anyways, that sentence was long… I’m saying this cuz it was jz the other day that I managed to get a hold of time n also my old friend – Sandra! Man… I missed her so. N the times we had together in TMLC with riana and the rest. I met up with Sandra for a movie n lunch. She took me to the all time fav hang out spot for cheras ppl – Leisure Mall. I’m not sure how long I’ve not been there… the place totally blew me away! It changed so much that I’d get lost in the shopping complex that I used to know like the back of my hand.
We had lunch at this ‘wong kok char chan teng’ which was really chun. (Sandra was as nice as ever, treated me lunch- who by the way is working n I’m not, haha) There was starbucks for crying out loud! Cheras has revolved into some cool place already… we then walked around n I finally made up my mind to get my hair cut. It was also a new place beside Guitar Store (which was there 8 years ago n I did not notice it until it did some cool refurnishing recently). I told the guy who did watever he had to do to my hair that I had a movie to catch at 3 and I reached the place at 2.30… heehee (I know, I know… bad time planning) but he said ‘mou man tai!’ the snipped away so fast, n he even had his partner do up my hair for me. (I even got to know the guy’s age, how long he’d been working there n wats on the upper floor of the saloon within that half an hour) 2 guys with the blow-dryer worked their way so fast, that I wasn’t late for Harry Potter… muahahha. So sorry Sandra had to wait for me… but I think she’s used to it cuz she’s the one who used to take me to places for hair cuts, nyek.
Harry Potter was great! Don’t mind watching it again (btw, I’m gonna watch it again this wed for free with me cousins) and we hung around starbucks after the show. Pei yi n pei wern joined us later for a little chit chat.
I’m so glad that my college life is over. Don’t hv to get tied down with the work n the distance. I’m looking 4ward to more of these get togethers. Especially with my really really close buddies like Sandra. I think it has been almost one year I was thrown into an unknown land called nilai n had to survive there by making a whole bunch of new friends (who, as a matter of fact, are super awesome!) n now that I’ve come to the end of that, I’m very glad I get the chance to literally catch up with my kl friends, to make up for the time that I wont b here next year, where I’ll b once again thrown into an unknown land, n survive on my own social skills.

write away in 2006!

I’ve always wanted to write. Always- as in all the time. write- as in jz pen down some stuff about wat I think about certain things n it don’t matter if anyone reads it or not. I jz want it for keep’s sake. But its kinda hard as u’re always out without a magic paper n a pen when u need one. They shud invent a chip that u can insert into ur brain n it’ll jot down memos 4 u. instead of inventing durian openers.
Anyways, that’s a pretty crappy intro. Know y I’m crapping? Cuz I’ve ntg better to do now. I’m jz so used to going out, spending my leftover time with friends b4 I can’t do so in a months time. N now I’m left with ntg to do…. So I’m a little agitated. Ok, since I’ve the time, I shall blog abut those things I didn’t manage to find time to blog.
During New Year’s Eve, my boobies n I decided to hv a gathering for the last time in 2005. Though I didn’t manage to stay over at shua’s hse, I was still glad I got to spend time with them the whole day. Horny treated me with a cup of coffee in the morning, which got me high for the rest of the day. He himself gulped down two whole cups of black coffee, which totally knocked him out till the next day, haha. We watched movies, gave each other gifts n jz hung out in shua’s hse, though he had to study, but wat the heck, he so smart d, I think he knows more than his text books. I hope I can still hang out like this when I come back from OZ, hope we’ll never grow too old for that.
Next event, was celebrating the coming of 2006. I wanted to stay home n b a good girl this year by counting down with my family members at mama(grandma)’s hse, but then somehow, I got myself into an lrt with 3za n Justine(my enthusiastic cousins) at10pm n headed towards bukit bintang for countdown. Met up with ah dong, brian, panda, sm, n cm. then moved towards the crowd for count down. Saw julien n bros, ck n gang, matt, vernon n friends…. The fireworks were magnificent, had a neck ache after arching up to look at it for 5 mins. Pushed our way out from the crowd, left the place, n headed for food. Though there were some miscommunications, I’m glad I got to live pass 05 to 06 with part of my family n part of my friends, heehee. Slept at 4am.
Day one of 06: spent time with God. Went to city harvest church in sunway for the super Sunday. Saw timo, alwyn, n praeme. I also got to meet up with the oikos ppl. I think chc is pretty cool. Everything is different there, but one thing that’s the same with any other church—we worship the same God. After service we went all the way to segambut for rm11 seafood noodles. Thank God no one was hurt when Keith’s car tire punctured. Was super tired by then, so went home n slept till dinner time. Had red wine lamb chop at cowboy delight with my entire family, then visited Justine’s ‘ah mai’ (aunty in hakka/hokkien/teochew/whatever language)
Day two of 06: woke up at 12pm, left home at 12.35pm. Had to fulfill my promise—celebrate David’s bday. So took my laptop to star bucks leisure mall with Sandra, had caramel cream (no more caffeine for me), waited for David and jz sat n chat when he came. Not a bad way to catch up with friends, jz a little pricy.
Day three of 06: went out with aunty yen to get some flight stuff done. Found out that the MAS grads card was ridiculously useless… and that there’s so much trouble u have to go thru jz to get out of this country. Well, as wat aunty yen said: “u gotta leave this country for awhile to start appreciating it” I think she’s rite, n I cant wait to start appreciating msia.
Day four of 06: went on a date with tim. Haha, sounds like ‘oolala’ but it was jz a movie n lunch. I’m finding it hard to meet up with every one in msia now, jz to meet up b4 I leave. So it’s good I finally get to go out with one that was so hard to meet up with. Oh ya, I bought dangly earrings for myself too (tim helped me choose some). Gotta start dressing up like a girl n act like one. So dangly earrings r a good start I guess. Well, was fun roaming around 1u aimlessly. Its been awhile since I’ve been there. After that, I went shopping with my aunt. I’ve no idea where she gets all the energy from… she’s darn good at shopping.
Day five of 06: the day I realized that I cant live at home all day. My neighbors (two opposite n one directly beside my hse) r renovating their hses. Its madness! I cant sleep even a sec longer in the morning… had to get up at 8 no matter wat… why renovate now? The banging n clanging can kill u know?! Argh…. Someone save me pls. I cant get online, I dun hv mood for anything but to crap. So I kinda feel sorry if u read this post… it either means u’re dead bored like me now or someone made u do it, hehe. Hope u (my dearest crap reader) will hv a better day than I’m having now. Over n out

little jez ~ big jez

Things in my head—why n how did I come out with that…? U cant write out the things in ur head. All u can do is jz TRY to describe a little bit of this n a little bit of that. Not all the things that’s stuck in ur head. Now my brain is kinda like jammed up. Clogged. Maybe that’s how they came up with the word blog. Rhymes with clog. So to blog, is to unclog ur mind. Heehee.
Well, many things happened after the new year started. I had a bad start. Very bad. Had a fight with my dad, and something else, but I shall not let that tie me down. There’s more to 2006 than that. Most ppl would scribble down their New Year resolution n then leave the scrap in the drawer n throw it away when 2007 comes. As for me, I’ve not changed my resolution of ‘growing taller’ since God knows when. Though I did grow a little, but not much. Still little jez. However, there was one thing that I didn’t list in my 2005 resolution but I managed to accomplish it. That is to grow mentally. I’m a big girl now. Big jez. I’m grateful that mom sent me to nilai for a year. I kinda miss that place. No, I really badly extremely miss that place, the ppl, n the freedom. I tried staying up all night jz to fit the whole econs book into my puny brain in less than 5 hours. I tried playing Frisbee in the dark with ppl I don’t know and nearly got my head chopped off by the plastic plate. I experienced worshipping God with ppl my age and ppl with the same belief in a lecture hall (the same one I took my finals). I managed to take care of myself, take cold showers during the rainy season. Got sick b4 my law sem finals, n had great friends who wud take me to the clinic. Laughed so loud with my roomie till the guard came over to hush us down. Go all the way down to kl from nilai jz to get info for my project. Had a super awesome friend who stayed back jz to give encouragement thru out the whole exam period neglecting his own health and financial needs. Had so many human alarm clocks who wud make sure I wud not b late for my finals. Made friends with the most interesting peeps in da world, who gave me priceless experiences. Learnt about things that are plainly larger than life. What more can I ask for? I can ask for more in 2006 but nothing can ever take away the memories I have about inti nilai. Never.
Other than nilai, I also experienced something great. That is no matter where u are, ur family will be behind u to support u, friends beside u to give u a meaning to life, and God inside u to keep blessing u till u cant contain it no more that u gotta bless others all around u. I must say, I got closer to mom n dad ever since I stayed in campus. Guess they missed me when I’m not around, heehee. N charmaine too. She misses me a lot, I can see. N of course, I miss her too. And my best friends, horny n shua. I won’t know what I’ll do without them. I got to know horny better (I think I know him better than his mother! Haha) and though shua was far from us, he was never far from our thoughts. I‘ve learnt so many tings from the both of them that can never be taught in words. Jia wei, n Heidi whom I miss oh so much. Jia wei even called all the way from Germany jz to cheer me up. Though I didn’t hear much from heidi thru the whole year, but her sweet smile would always b roaming my head, reminding me that there are many more nice ppl out there. Lizzie, my makan partner n alarm clock. She taught me a thing or two about patience n tolerance. She da best! My cousins, who never stopped entertaining me n being entertained with me, haha. My grandparents who really spoke like those wise folks with white beards on the mountain top. Super electrifying advices I got from them. My church friends who hv left me physically, but I hv a feeling that they’ve never forgotten about me (so perasan hor?) I’ll never forget about the times we had all the way back from Sunday school. My tuition friends, Brats friends, friend’s friends, friends who does not fall in any category…. U ppl really mean a lot to me.
So u see… people around me are those who keeps me going. People. I guess mass comm is really my thing. Haha. Though I’m a little sad that it does not involve maths….
Ok, I think I’ve unclogged my brain well for today. Stay tuned for more unclogging or plainly jz experiences I want to read again next time. Little n big jez*out

jinx

argh!!!!! y..? y am i like this? i'm like jinxed! cursed! whenever i'm with techy stuff.... good thing i didnt choose computer science as a major. i'm like sooooo malang when it comes to computers, digicams, mp3s n even handphones! i got my new laptop-- yay! but its giving me problems--boo... i got tonnes of songs in my old desktop--yay! but i cant turn it on--boo... i would not wanna carry on the list, for i mite break down n cry... y is it like this? is there a cure for it? can i fix it? can i un-jinx myself? haih... i'm now trying to get online, n its not working. the built-in webcam is not working. i cant sign into msn. okok, here i go again....
*deep breath* calm down.... i'm trying not to blame myself for all but but i cant! it's all so obvious! its me! it must b. don't b surprised if u read the headlines one day : girl exploded infront of her own laptop due to over heat of her own veins.
i hope all these mishaps wont occur in aus. cuz my laptop's service centre is only in mainland m'sia. i think it must b something wrong with my protons, or electrons from my atoms or watever sort. everytime i come out from a car, i'll get electricuted by any metal i touch. n when i walk in a shopping mall, i'll 'sot' the person beside me if i ever touch him/her. this is bad, very bad. i even sot myself when i open my front gate (every single time) do i hv to live with this my whole life? i think i'm gonna spoil all my electrical appliances in the future. the company will rugi if the warranty is for 3 years.
well, i prayed over my laptop once i bought it back. guess the Lord wants me to appreciate it more when its here to serve me. i shall demand ntg more from it, n continue to love n care for my techy blessings that i hv. *peace out*

Happy birthday Jesus!!!

Christmas day: the day a very special person came all the way from heaven to earth as a gift from the most awesome God of all. till now, earthlings celebrate the birth of that special person, some bearing the spirit of joy n tidings, some bearing the spirit of economic prosperity. i wonder who came up with the idea of annual celebration n remembrance... who suggested the practice of reminiscing the day of something special... well, who ever that is, he/she did not make it clear that u gotta believe in wat u're celebrating for n make evrerytime count.
this year's christmas, was pretty calm... to me. ntg big, ntg mega. maybe its cuz i'm tied down on things that i'm not certain in. for the 1st time, i wasnt involved in any performances, any organising-of-parties, any crew of any event. jz a normal dude, in an exotic city with the usual christmas celebration. feels different. feels a little awkward. i'm no longer as excited about it as i used to. i'm not saying that i'm expecting Jesus to appear rite in front of me n show me his baby pix n stuff... i jz want the feeling of yuletide, as a family, a church. i began to c things that hv complicated my thoughts n made things not simple any more.
i jz wish i cud b merry n gay, like little children who can so easily enter the kingdom of God. but nope. time wont turn back. n so must'nt i. gotta look forward at the complicated future, yet still remain as innocent as little kids. not easy.
well, i jz came back from a family gathering, where we all come together to open up presents that we give each other. we do this everyyear in mama's hse, in front of the christmas tree, mostly with dai bak who flew all the way back from perth to b santa claus. this year, sei suk was santa (the one with the least hair, as dai bak needed a break). as usual, the santa will b super blur, n we'll rip off present wrappers (mostly makro magazines) together n keep smilling though we might not like the gifts. after that we'd sit around n talk about stuff. mostly funny stuff cuz by then, the adults would b half drunk. this time, i felt a little insulted. my uncle who was not a christian was sharing a joke which was pretty unrespectful of Christ. everyone laughed, n i was there so uselessly deep in thought, sitting there without a word in my head. i did not defend my faith. n i can consider that as loosing a battle. all can do is to blog about it n sleep over it tonite. am i still qulified to celebrate the coming of my King, n my Saviour?
i hope next year, the meaning of christmas would fill me up again. i'm looking 4ward to a brand new year with a brand new start. hoping for growth in boldness n spiritual strength. tirsting for enthusiasm in life.

take me home~ country road~

i'm now on a bus, heading home to kl. it feels weird typing on a moving vehicle, but i know i wont get to do this often, so wat the heck. i'm on this express bus that is the 3-seater type which is very spacious compared to the one i went up camerons with. it has a good extention thingy from the seat for ur legs, n seat-belts! for crying out loud... like the bus may take off anytime on the way. but i cant complain... we pay more, we get more. plus, the ticket was paid by my aunt, so, it's it a double-blessing.
it takes 1hr n a half to get down from the hill, n 4 hrs to get to town. wat a waste of time if i keep doing this often. i could watch 2 movies in 4 hours... or watch 10 pisodes of friends... or finish a book (that was wat i jz did)... i cud paint my nail, take a bath, go shopping in 5 hours...speaking of which, i missed out so many things after deciding to go camerons... missed king kong with shua n horny, missed lepaking with 5sc2 gang, missed getting my results from nilai n taking it to idp, missed 'guo dong' dinner in mama's hse (i was the only one absent last nite), etc. but i thank God for sending me up there for a while, i got to know more about myself, n help out in the bz kitchen. i also got to spend time with my cousins who i've not been hanging out with for 7 years ever since they went up there. i better count my blessings b4 i start to feel depressed.
i'm really excited about the party tonite. i thought i shud b the one organizing something like that since i'm the one who's leaving next year. but no. God sent angels to bless me with it. so i'm taking this opportunity to meet up with all 5sc1 ppl as a reunion-cum-christmas gathering-cum-farewell for jez. haha. i hope all of them get to go. ah gurl (wuei yunn) has so graciously offered out her hse for this party, n ck, as nice as always, offered to gau dim everything. so all i hv to do is to get myself there! n how am i gonna get there? i hvn't hv the slightest clue about it. but by hook or by crook, i'll get there.
well, the ride is starting to get bumpy now, n someone's 'fung yau' smell is making me drowsy... i shall end here,, saying 'bon voyage' to myself

once upon a time in camerons

situation: blur look, uncombed hair, tucked nicely under the thick covers, sniffing, glasses, dry throat, enthusiastic about wats gonna happen today. i'm now in my cousins' place up in the highlands of camerons. i left everything back in kl n came to jz hv a get-away. i love this life. all u do is sit around n c wat u can help out in the hse. once in a while my aunt will take us out for a treat in secret resipe. jz ydy alone, i woke up to the sound of my hp msg by angela who told me results r out, watched four shows, walked out to the market with grandparents, walked all the way to strawberry park n back with amanda, cut veges with kak afiyah, n cleaned chicken meat with popo (*ulk). well, ,it'll b boring to write about the whole day cuz there's so much more instored for me today. my cousin audrey complained that its boring living up here in camerons, but i think its a pretty healthy place to grow up. take diana(not sure if its spelt this way or not) for instants. she's the pastor's kid. comes to chefoo(the place where my aunt stays) to hang around. she's 2 n half yrs old n is able to grasp a whole lot of vocabs. she runs about in the field, falls down and laughs at herself. she pulled me to the playground n waits for me to carry her up to the swing. for a 2 yr old kid, she's mighty brave. i think if she grew up in kl, playing with the other kids, they'd hv a maid there to make sure they dun scratch their fingers or get a sun burn... 'tau fu's. most of them. almost all. n i grew up like that. crying for attention when i accidentally got a slight cut with my toy. hiah,.... sad...
situation now(that up there was this moning...): i'm sitting next to the indon maid who's watching korean soap dramas, n all 3 of my cousins plus their dad r on their own laptops, minding their own techy business.i had great day today. went for charoling practice with them though i wont b here for charoling, had lunch at secret recipe, helped out in the huge kitchen (my aunt manages chefoo for campers n there's this groups of korean ppl up here), watched a show, went cycling with joshua n mandy, then out to tanah rata for banana pancake (too bad i wasnt feeling too good then....must b the wheather), back for another show, then had 'tong yuin' cuz today is traditional chinese 'goh dung' day. oh ya, n we had mishballs!!! it's fish ball with meat inside...chun leh? dinner was jz those n some extremely spicy korean cup noodles (ah yee got it from the group). next, i dunno wat i'm gonna do... maybe post my blog, maybe they'd go out for supper as planned.
i'm having a super lot of fun, jz that i'm a little worried that i'm not gonna survive in adelaide during winter. i'm already shaking like some osim chair vibrator after baths, n sniffing all over.... how la how? everyday, the most important thing i'mm looking 4ward to is the hot cup of drink i drink b4 bed. well, my results r being faxed to uniSA n i'd get to know what course exactly i'm taking n when i'm leaving msia. at least in msia, u get to choose ur wheather.... winter in camerons, summer in pd, n spring at home... autumn...ermm, in ur computer screens...hehe
well, gotta go now. till next time. stay cool, not cold...

it was His voice all along...

when God calls.. he really calls. i had a bad time finding myself. trying to think of wats my calling n wat my future wud b. n i was so blind to b ignorant of the fact starring straight at me. it stared so hard, that it was so close to slapping me right on the cheek to get my attention. i was using the binoculus, but all i needed was my specs...
for the 4rth time, i signed myself up for HUGE camp. n i must say, this last one was different. n so was the other 3 times. without asking other questions (like he alwas does) dad jz said 'sure, u can go'. then in the process of signing up, i din't know i was joining the Oikos church. i thought it was under TMLC Youth all along...but TMLC Youth telah dibatalkan starting 1st nov, n i was still about it.... anyways, i jz went, surrendering EVERYTHING to God, thinking that my best friend would b packing his bag, leaving for China on the same day; n jz going with my other best friend who knows as much as i did that time.
when i arrived at the hotel, i saw packs of unfamilliar faces, n then sank with relief when i saw joshua with his usual grin n yih hon, introducing himself as his substitute, daniel. pei wern, pei yi, jess n her bro was there. other than mike, david, n jessy, the others were pure strangers. i was whisked off to the room, then roamed around the place. though i felt cheated, i was jz so glad horny made it. n though the place was flooded with uncountable flies, i knew i'd hv great memories there.
the days went off so fast. we visited jonker street in broad daylight, ate cendol n ice kacang, joked around in the fortress of A' famosa, gazed at some tunku's pix, n had a blast during the nite concert on the 1st night. horny did something to my finger that i think he's never gonna forget, n the girls (py, pw, jess, jessy, n i) chatted till our eyelids were heavier than our thighs(about 3 am).
i got to know the rest of the oikos gang soon, when shua started to play his 'who burnt the house down, n how many horses?' games. then we ventured on as a group to other planned games: the leap of faith, the other sloppy walk, n the blow-dart thingy. was fun. then we took a family pic near the pool, when karl suddenly came n carried me off the place where i was sitting. i thought he was going to throw me into the pool, so i was ready to jump off his huge n strong arms (so no one gets hurt) but mana tau... he jumped down with me still in his arms. for a moment, i was flyingin mid air with a giant. we joked so hard in the pool when shua came down as well, that i do not doubt someone actually ter-pee in their floating pants. the pool was full of saliva, hair gel, n wat not deodarants from underarms...
n here comes the serious part. though the others mite not b, n my outer body wasnt... but my soul, spirit n mind was. God was speaking to me, so loud! as though i jz cleaned my ears after it was jammed up for twenty years... when the speaker, ps chad jacobson encouraged all the young ppl to grow as a youth group, my mind kept yelling back 'i dont hv a youth group!' then when he said to honour ur youth leaders, n i wud fight back 'i dont hv no leader!' n i got frustrated... then when he almoost ended, he said 'if u do not hv a youth group... start one. no leader? be one...' n i was "whapak!!!" being slapped my my own consciesness. b4 the camp, my mom had wanted me to re-live the youth in TMLC, even aunty siew lay said she'd help. but all i did was reject n gave excuses. i didnt trust my own ability.
n so i cried. cried my heart out. like a hungry baby in a body on an 18-year-old. i was hungry for a confirmation. scared of the struggle. lost for excuses. fear of failure. crying out for the will to answer my call. that nite, i was very uncertain. i was doubting myself n everything else. but then i kept thinking about the other young ppl in taman midah who r still lost. who still doesnt know that they have a saviour but hv not recieved him yet. to tell the truth, i was jz scared. thats all.
the final day came, n i was expecting something. something impactful. i was blessed during the 1st huge camp went i walked pass that prayer tunnel. so i told my self, i must get that too this year. the feeling is undiscribable. its personal, n subjective. the queue was long. imagine, 900 young ppl walking through 2 tunnels of blessing. one by one, being touched by the hands of God. but i already felt it b4 entering th tunnel. at 1st i felt unworthy of his touch. but soon, it all came to place. he made me, thus, he knows me more than i know myself. n i surrendered.
then when it was time, we left the place. i dunno bout the others but i left the hotel with more expectations than ever. i wanted to see wat is going to b ahead of me. though the camp ended, but my calling jz begun. now, i'm going to SNATCH. thats the theme of the camp. snatch. i'll make my way thru, n get things done b4 i dont hv time. i'm going to do something for the remaining youth in TMLC b4 i set off to aus. i know i'm going to make it, because He is with me. for i can do all things through Christ who strentghens me. Philipians 4:13

i love my life

U jz wont believe what happened to me today. A lot of unexpected things jz kept occurring one after another.
I got a call last nite from a long lost friend. N I suggested we meet up, then she said “how bout tmr?” n I had to echo an “OK!” without thinking… well, I basically dun mind meeting up with jen (my form one class mate), jz that I’ve been out for almost everyday n I’ve no more cash to spend out there…
Anywayz, I went out with her today n ….I dunno y…I dragged Terrence along. I’ve not personally hung out with this guy b4. was in the same tuition class with him, then got his online contact. He said he wanted to get out from his home so I asked him to join also la… long story… so when I introduced jen to Terrence, turned out that they took the same course in college, jz from different intakes. N there I was worrying that they wont get along.
So we had lunch at mcDs (starting to get sick of the food there). After chatting for some time, I noticed that I’m a totally different person compared to the both of them. They claim that it’s the kampong life in nilai that turned me into some weird alien like me. I doubt it… I think its more of who I mix with, the people around me that shapes who I really am. We chatted for a while more n they decided to go for a round of pool. I must say that that’s the 2nd last place I’d be in when I’m in mid valley. (the 1st wud b the medical centre) so blindly I said ‘alright’ n went along with them to the smoky place above the line of people in queue for movie tix.
I confessed that pool is not my type of game, so I’ll watch. Terrence insisted that I played… n turned out that I wasn’t lying. Soon, jen had to leave so I thought “wat the heck… since I’m here, I’ll give it more shots” n challenge Terrence. After all the bye byes, I played with lady luck on my side. I managed to beat him, n we left the smoky, n by that time, freezing place.
Met up with shua after leaving the freezer, n introduced terrence to shua. Turned out that both of them had a thing for guitars n started talking about it with me oh-so-cluelessly standing beside them. But I was cool bout it, at least they had something in common. Made me realize that if u had something in common, it’d b so easy to strike a conversation , n not as hard as wat I faced earlier on (jen does not watch tv, does not play sports, does not remember who was who in class back then, n lives a totally different life as I’m in now)
Well, I am who I am, n I love it. I love my life rite now, jz staying at home, helping mom out in her so called ‘spring cleaning’, calling up old friends jz to meet up n survive on a deficit basis, going out with my aunt n listening to her babble about health n Korean soap dramas, planning with dad regarding my visas n air tix to aus…. It’s not bad. I love it.

it was were it all began...

I’ve so many things in my mind rite now, n dunno where to start. I guess this is a pretty clichéd way to start blogs these days eh? But no choice, that really wat I’m facing rite now.
Ok, to start with, I wanna share about something very special to me—the birth of my new companion—my brand new laptop! A.k.a my husband (technically I’m married to a new born machine, haha)
The plan was this: persuade my dad that having a laptop is really essential for uni life (which wasn’t hard cuz I think he knows it from the start), get my but to pc fair on the 1st day, get infos about good laptops (went with shua who was of very very good help that day- thx shua!) come back with a few options, then buy it on the last day of fair.
The plan worked, n I’m now happily caressing my husband until my fingers n eyes go soar! I think he likes it, haha… ok, I’m getting overboard now.
i'm jz happy that this new toy i have now temporarily saved my life from my old com which btw, omits weird sounds when i turn it on n never can work anymore... so, i'm jz plainly happy.
I’ll blog about the experience there another time, feel like giving my hubby some rest.